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Sister visiting this weekend...

Old 02-05-2016, 04:22 AM
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Sister visiting this weekend...

My sister is visiting my parents this weekend. I felt OK about it but she's arriving today and I'm starting to feel a bit... uneasy.

Her and my brother are my half brother and sister (same mum, different dads). They're both quite a lot older than me and had moved out before I was born. The drinking started (at least in my mum's case) after I was born so they have no idea what went on. I think they know there have been issues with drinking too much but don't know to what extent.

They're going out this evening to a pub... My sister drinks (has drunk too much in the past) and seems to think it's fun when our mum is drunk. That it's OK, normal for her to get drunk, all is OK with that. I feel anger and resentment towards them over it. I should probably have gone to see my sister this weekend (I last saw her... maybe three years ago) but I don't want to. I feel like I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to see her. Right now I feel like I would have OK if I didn't see her again. Sounds awful but even when I was a child I remember her buying my mum drink and thinking it was fun.

They don't understand the fear I've felt all these years and how much it is effecting me now. According to them it's all fine and I overreact...

As I said, I've felt fine about it all week till today. I know they're arriving today and I know there will be alcohol involved. I'm angry about it and worried.

Just needing to get that worry off my chest.
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:08 AM
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Great to always get feelings typed out Shell!!

I can see some similar things in my own experience, my sister lives in England and when my dad was drinking and seriously damaging his health, she never saw the full extent whereas I was seeing it nearly every day, and the penny only dropped for her when he was admitted to hospital.

I used to feel a resentment as to why am I the one having to deal with this, whilst my sister was hundreds of miles away, but eventually she saw and eventually your sister will see also if alcohol begins to affect your mum's health to the point of being very serious, those accusations of "over reacting" will go by the wayside in the cold light of day.

Hang in there, there's plenty of people here that understand how serious alcohol is and can be!!
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:17 AM
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Same here. My siblings as they each moved out of the home, just saw my Dad as a fun guy drinking. Forgetting all about the abuse he doled out drunk because now, THEY were not getting hurt anymore and I was just making it up. Thanks a lot!! I have little to nothing to do with any of them now. Some still insist I am a liar. Yeah right.
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Old 02-08-2016, 01:09 AM
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I hadn't heard from her all weekend. I sent a couple of texts but no reply... I've spent the weekend worrying. She called around 8pm last night drunk. I'm so disappointed. Mainly disappointed in my sister for taking her out drinking. All fun and games for her but I'm the one who's now left worrying about her.
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Old 02-09-2016, 09:39 PM
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Sorry to say that this scenario with your sister may never change. Figure out your plan B. Even if it means expecting it. One thing I had going for me was emotional disconnect. It helped removed the anxiety and worrying. Not that I didn't care or have a certain amount of love for my parents but I was removed from the angst that tried to rule my life. Because I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I couldn't cure it.
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Old 02-10-2016, 01:19 AM
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Thank you. It's something I'm trying to do. I'm trying to not call her to check up on her as much. I feel like that's sort of a step in the right direction. I also haven't asked her directly if she's been drinking in a few weeks (something I would have done a lot before). If she's going to do it then she's going to do it whether or not I call her.
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