justlike4

My mum just got back from a food shopping, while she's cooking dinner for me and herself I went into the living room to check behind the couch to see if she had bought any wine. I found a litre of vodka. My mums never ever been a vodka drinker, only wine. I'm really really shocked and I don't understand what this means. Everything's been normal at home (well she's still been getting pissed every few nights but that's the norm in this house)
I really do not understand what's changed why the hell has she bought a litre of vodka? Nothing bad has happened.

I'm really worried I'm sitting in the living room with her just now watching TV I don't know if I should confront her, to be honest I don't have the guts it's extremely awkward. Should I wait till she leaves, take it and pour it down the sink later on?

I'm really scared because my mum goes through wine like water, she's just went out and randomly bought a bloody litre of vodka... I don't know what the hell she is thinking

Kialua

All you can do to help is be good to yourself. Your mom will do what she wants for as long as she wants. But you have to be emotionally healthy to deal with it for your sake. This won't be the last time you she does something alarming, so expect it. Have you looked into Alanon yet? Try this link if you haven't

Groups | Al-Anon UK

NestWasEmpty

I don't normally reply to family matters , for I have messed mine up pretty bad with my alcoholism . You did ask why change to vodka , some think it's easier to hide the fact your drinking . Because it's clear you can mix it with about anything including water so it's not noticeable . Some say it has no smell either .
I could be totaling wrong , one other thing there's a higher alcohol % than wine has .
I don't know your story , I'm sorry your going thought this . Find yourself some help to deal - until she's ready .. as the other poster said .

Mags1

Hi justlike4, my dad drank when I was younger, there was always big rows with him and my mum and I always had to intervene, as I felt I had to protect my mum from my dad. When he was sober he was the most lovely man but when drunk, like Jekyll and Hyde.

I ended up drinking myself. I've stopped now but when I drank, nothing could stop me. I hid bottles from my husband, pretended to be sober but he knew when I had been drinking.

I wanted to stop but the pull of alcohol was more powerful until my husband walked out. He'd had enough, and who could blame him. For the first time, I looked at myself and did not like what I saw. I stopped drinking and haven't wanted to drink since.

If you confront your mum while she is drinking she will probably cover up and turn the tables and blame everyone but herself. It's what we do and did, as drinkers.

Have you read some of the friends and family experiences? There are many in similar situations to yourself..

Please look after yourself, learn how to live yourself. If your mum wants to drink and hide drinks from you, you won't stop her, unfortunately, just make it more upsetting for yourself.

tromboneliness

The previous answers are pretty much how it is. My "qualifier," before she went into treatment, was going through one of those every day (a quart of vodka, that is). Hard to imagine, but mixed with cranberry juice, you can suck down a lot of the stuff. The thing is, you (that is, we) can't stop someone from drinking -- confronting them doesn't do anything, fighting, pouring out bottles, begging, pleading, threatening, and changing our own behavior to be completely perfect so they'll have no reason to drink... none of that does anything. But the flip side of it is that because we have no control over the alcoholic, we do not have to try to control them.

20 years ago this October, I started going to Al-Anon -- at that time, the 1.75-liter vodka bottles were accumulating under the desk (she basically never tried to hide how much she was drinking) every couple of days or so. It seemed hopeless, impossible, and actually laughably ludicrous that any sort of solution would happen... but she went to treatment (after almost dying), got sober and healthy, and we're still an item, all this time later. Alcoholism is hard to figure out, but an Al-Alon meeting is a great way to find people who have gone through (and are going through) much of the same things we've had in our lives. Good luck!

T

bambi2489

First of all I'm sorry you have to put up with this, my dad is a chronic alcholic and goes through numerous amounts of vodka a day. I might be wrong but it sounds like she may have been drinking it for some time..you just didn't know about it. Alcoholics are very sneaky...my dad has been hiding vodka for years (possibly 10 years!!)...until my mum found the bottle stuffed behind the sofa one night and left it out for him to find..since then ..he doesn't hide it but she finds both full and empty bottles everywhere...in bags, in his coat pockets, under the sink, behind the Tele . Absolutely anywhere where he can stash it away without anyone finding it. I'm really sorry but this probably isn't the first bottle she's had. If you feel confident enough..you could possibly admit to her you've found it. If you move it without her knowing she will just go and buy another bottle. I used to empty the bottles and fill it full of water...just to wind my dad up..or I would empty and write a note telling my dad I had found it and emptied it...sadly I thought it would make a difference...it never did and he never told me he had found the letters. The breaking point was recently when he met my daughter..his first grandchild..he hid a bottle under my sofa whilst he held her. ..safe to say when I found it a week later...I haven't seen him since. I'm so sorry your in this situation...it probably doesn't help..but your not the only one. Stay strong and if your confident enough try and talk to her. X