Bookaboo2

I am ACOA and a cruel mother who was the minority version of Mommy Dearest. As a result of my childhood I nvr really had made real emotional connections with men. Heck am learning since meeting and falling in love with a man who is alcoholic that I could disconnect pretty quickly if you could potentially hurt me emotional. Hving problems doing that with him though which pisses me off bc 3 years ago i would've nvr fell in love with him. My mother taught my son and my brothers the game of emotional warfare when you don't get what you want. My son gf is suspose to give birth any day am not even excited. I refuse to get attach until there is a DNA test. This upsets my mother says am not "right". I told her I will not allow anyone to abuse me emotional anymore. I know this way of coping isn't the best but it serves me well when dealing with my family. I hve nvr felt like a part of my family. My mother as told me several times in the past that she raised me to raise my brothers in case something happens to her or my father. When my father (he was drug addict and drank)died from drug overdose I passed out at the funeral. And said who's gonna protect me from her now. I DON'T LIKE MY MOTHER I ONLY LOVE HER BC AM SUSPOSE 2.

happybeingme

Hi! Welcome to the forum. I am sorry things are so tough for you. I don't blame you for not getting emotionally involved. Some people are like vampires. They suck the emotional energy out of you and leave you with nothing. I went no contact with my mother a year ago. I realized our relationship was only a benefit to her and it left me depleted. Why do that to myself? Good luck with things. Hope you stick around.

Kialua

Welcome! Whoa did I just have a moment. Detachment is me. From an early age. You summed it up well, "I could disconnect pretty quickly if you could potentially hurt me emotional" is me to a T. Speaking of babies, when I had my daughter after a 95% risk pregnancy following a miscarriage, last minute C-section. When they showed her to me my mind was reeling thinking, is she really going to live? What's going to happen next? I didn't have one of those Hallmark moments. I was detaching right in front of her. I never really connected that moment with my detachment pattern. I just have always felt guilty for reacting like that. Now I see it clearly.

Of course I worked through that, but man can I relate.