New Book
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
New Book
The final straw happened this weekend with someone I had considered family and my best friend. I have to walk away for what's best for me. Part of me is absolutely heart broken for what had to happen but life changes people.
Even through the threat of tears in my eyes I can see that even though I have to close my last book I can open a new one now. I have amazing things in my life, and this pain too shall pass. I never thought I would manage this level of healthy coping at losing someone I care about.
On the moments the threat of grief and loss threaten to overwhelm me I remember that this is just a new book. I may miss a few characters from the old one, but the beauty of a new one is I now have time to meet new characters and get to know them.
My alcoholic mother will probably still hold a distant back ground part as the person who keeps begging me to hang out then bailing because she is/got too drunk. But instead of those incidents being a chapter they will now be a running joke.
As an ACOA the fear of abandonment seems woven into every fiber of my being, but something different is reverberating now, I may feel abandoned from the lost friendship, but I don't feel abandoned by myself. That's a gift I never thought I would get to have.
Even through the threat of tears in my eyes I can see that even though I have to close my last book I can open a new one now. I have amazing things in my life, and this pain too shall pass. I never thought I would manage this level of healthy coping at losing someone I care about.
On the moments the threat of grief and loss threaten to overwhelm me I remember that this is just a new book. I may miss a few characters from the old one, but the beauty of a new one is I now have time to meet new characters and get to know them.
My alcoholic mother will probably still hold a distant back ground part as the person who keeps begging me to hang out then bailing because she is/got too drunk. But instead of those incidents being a chapter they will now be a running joke.
As an ACOA the fear of abandonment seems woven into every fiber of my being, but something different is reverberating now, I may feel abandoned from the lost friendship, but I don't feel abandoned by myself. That's a gift I never thought I would get to have.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 350
Kudos and good luck. The new book, the next chapter, the new life is a great way of referencing the changes that recovery brings. It's a way, in my opinion, to move forward and try not to change the relationships in my life that aren't working for me. Instead, I create a new structure of friendships, hobbies, family around me. A group of people, places, and things that is a much better network of support. Yes, a new life.
I still have some contact with people from my old life (old friends, siblings, etc), but only if it fits with my new vision, my recovery, etc.
I still have some contact with people from my old life (old friends, siblings, etc), but only if it fits with my new vision, my recovery, etc.
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