After Narcissistic Abuse
 

Hi how is everyone? I've been putting some work in around my abusive past.

I want to share a few things that I have been coming to terms with recently:








These are some of the main items that have been heaped on me in spades during the past few years alone, and then some.

It is not a theory or whim. This guy is speaking to my reality word for word here. And it has been incredibly difficult for me.

And yet it is my truth. In the cold light of day and with due consideration, I accept everything that is presented here as fact.

Hey Strat.

I don't belong in this forum but have been meaning to recommend someone to you for a while, and just remembered now seeing this thread.
Are you familiar with Sam Vaknin? If not, check him out, he has a lot of internet presence. Very controversial figure -- some people kinda admire him for what he is doing and others attack him wildly and say his "work" is made up BS. There is also a documentary about/with him, called "I, psychopath", I think it can be watched for free online although it's been a while ago when I saw it. I just thought you might find some interesting stuff coming from him. I personally do think he is interesting, but I don't see him with the eyes of a victim or someone with anger and frustrations, more as a curious "bird" or something.

I just googled it and I can safely say that I will not be watching that. First up, from what I understand the true narcissist/psychopath does not see anything wrong with their actions, and does not seek help.

And is inherently evil from what I can deduce. Look at what I posted above and tell me how anyone could do that to another human being let alone their closest family. And that is just the tip of an iceberg.


In any case I do not see a crossover between the absolute depravity and destruction to others because of this condition, and entertainment. Pehaps for someone who hasn't suffered because of it there is.

I have though. By the way, I am not looking at this realisation through the eyes of a victim or with anger and frustration (as I stated in my OP). Although, I have spent the majority of my life feeling like that.


Furthermore: This realisation has absolutely been the biggest breakthrough for me in many years. Outside of some realisations of a more personal nature, it's been the biggest breakthrough in my life by far.

Knowing as I have a long time that for some reason my mother and to a lessor or equal degree my father were basically evil and I was not, was useful to know but left me feeling very much alone in this world.


I am incredibly grateful to other user's here who have pointed me in this direction. It's the answer I have been looking for, and the reason I have a path worn to doctors the past 15 years with signs of trauma.

And it's the same reason I was careering about the place taking all types of risks in looking for a cure or anything to make me feel better and take the edge off my life. My thread is about Maternal Narcissism.