makomago

My experience of making untrue (inferred) and unkind statements such as the above, albeit in different words is that it happened only when I was in pain (whether I 'knew' and acknowledged it or not) or if I was projecting my own sh1t and fears!

I'm glad, today, I've learned about listening boundaries and don't take on others projected fears, shame or sh1t! I know an untruth when I hear it (well mostly - I'm not perfect).

makomago

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the past I cannot change
The courage to change the future I can
And the wisdom to start today

I get the sentiment behind the statement "life sentence". My mentor in - ACA 40'odd years sober or x years abstinent and a mulitude sober has said to me "there is still residue".

My experience to date and my focus at the moment is doing the grief work by uncovering and feeling the original hurt with a view to reaching that grief stage of 'acceptance'.

Acceptance in my experience does not equate to happiness (necessarily), but it does bring freedom from the past.

Take it easy

Spacegoat

Thanks makomago. I really appreciated your comments today.

Also Jennie, apologies-I believe you were hinting as to therapy.

I'm so relieved to no longer be in denial about all this stuff guys.

Spacegoat

I was a bit frustrated on the evening I wrote that because of the realisation. I could have put a question mark but didn't as I know this to be true.

I've already lived it. And you have confirmed it with your mentors words. In any case I'm all for reality, the illusion of doubt was soul destroying.

Now we are at a similar juncture then. Just like you I am also uncovering and exploring these feelings in the cold light of day and without doubt.


I really have been grieving for quite some time now and without fully understanding why. And now, I guess I am working on the acceptance part.

Freedom from the past does sound damn good. I have heard it in lecture's and it's always grabbed me. I even thought I had made it once or twice.

But again, without really understanding why and from what it was that I sought my freedom. Thank you for sharing I wish you nothing but peace.