ajarlson

This week has been one of ups and downs and anxiety (and a little wine). After sharing the highlights of our mom's addiction over the last few years to my brother, I was reflecting on the anger and fury I had while typing these things out. Then I was left with the thought, where did that anger come from? I typed a letter to him today that I will not send, and in it, I realized why I'm angry. I'm angry because her behavior is selfish to the extreme. We're being told that we have to take care of our moms and dads because it's the circle of life, or they're our parents, blood is thicker than water - whatever the bs of the day happens to be. And I am calling bs on ALL of it because if she was truly a parent she would not want her child to live like I did, fearing every phone call, afraid I would have to pick her up from jail again, afraid this time she fell and really hurt herself, on and on until every time you see it's her calling your heart clenches and panic rises in your throat. She has ABDICATED her parental rights by this selfish behavior. I would never put my precious kids through that hell. So, while I understand the "it's your mother" sentiment, I believe that only applies as long as she tried to act like a mother for as long as she could. As I'm finding as my kids get older, parenthood does not end when they turn 18! Rant over. Thanks all!

happybeingme

Sing it again sister. Some are the most selfish imaginable. When I think of my mom's own selfishness sometimes it makes my blood boil.