Great article on how abusers see their victims
voices ca**y
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Great article on how abusers see their victims
'Our Children Want to Hurt Us': Themes of Estranged Parents' Forums | Issendai.com
Hi all. I sometimes lurk on this section when it was mentioned the traits people that have suffered my kind of abuse mirror that of an ACOA. I have in fact gotten some great insights so Thanks.
Even though they were the ones that initiated the shunning they still hold us responsible because we failed to obey the command to live life in the only way they find acceptable.
Hi all. I sometimes lurk on this section when it was mentioned the traits people that have suffered my kind of abuse mirror that of an ACOA. I have in fact gotten some great insights so Thanks.
Even though they were the ones that initiated the shunning they still hold us responsible because we failed to obey the command to live life in the only way they find acceptable.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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Interesting. Though my abusive parents didn't care at all if I had contact with them throughout my adult life. My abusive dad would listen in and monitor phone calls to my mom and tell her it was time to get off. They never came to visit.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
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I suspected that would be their mentality. I have no doubt that my no contact is seen by my mother as either a way to deliberately hurt her or as me simply behaving like a bratty child. At this point in my life though I just don't care what she thinks
voices ca**y
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
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My mom rewrites history. She has said things that were the complete opposite of how it was growing up. She even calls herself retired and she didn't work. In fact she used to badmouth women that did work and call them men. She had to change reality because it doesn't fit with her image of herself. I never did correct her because I didn't want her to feel bad about herself. It is just fascinating to me how these things work and one more piece to the puzzle.
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You didn't want her to feel bad about herself.
Isn't it interesting how we always are concerned about their self esteem even though they couldn't have cared less about ours even when we were young children?
Isn't it interesting how we always are concerned about their self esteem even though they couldn't have cared less about ours even when we were young children?
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Originally Posted by silentrun 
My mom rewrites history. She has said things that were the complete opposite of how it was growing up. She even calls herself retired and she didn't work. In fact she used to badmouth women that did work and call them men. She had to change reality because it doesn't fit with her image of herself. I never did correct her because I didn't want her to feel bad about herself. It is just fascinating to me how these things work and one more piece to the puzzle.
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