ajarlson

So, my phone was buzzing yesterday but I didn't know the number so I didn't answer. They left a voicemail, all it said was "This is KC (my half brother) CALL ME". So I think it must be about my mother, my half brother and I are not friends in any shape of the word and he only calls me about her. I was at work so even if I wanted to call him back I could not have right then. He proceeded to call 4 or 5 more times immediately, no voice mails. Decided not to call back, thinking of blocking him as well now but then thinking, is that too paranoid? Should I call him back? Just ignore? Or is blocking reasonable? Ugh.

happybeingme

It depends. If you have completely cut off your mom and don't even want to know if she died than don't call. If however you want to know call back and if it is just normal nonsense you can always go no contact with him as well. It isn't paranoid

ajarlson

I guess my fear is that I'm being irrational and paranoid. Especially after reading the stories here, I feel that my story pales in comparison to others and yet I have taken the "coward's" way out and gone for avoidance. I am pretty sure that I am just hearing that tape loop in my head and that I'm not really a coward but it's so hard to know for sure. Thanks for letting me vent all.

happybeingme

Your reaction is sane and acceptable. My story is even milder than yours but I decided that it is bad enough for me and I don't have to put up with her. You don't either.

It isn't avoidance. It is keeping toxic soul sucking people out of your life. I think that is normal and healthy

seasaw

Hey there - the great thing about this new chapter in our lives is that we get to set the rules, as much as were are able, about Who we want to interact with them, When and Where we interact with them, about What, for How long, etc. We don't have to explain or justify it to anyone; when we Want to, all we have to say is that we decided it was what was best for our health.

You're not being avoidant, you're being measured and careful - if he called five times in a row it certainly seems reasonable that he would have left you a message if it was actually something real - or if something REAL had happened you'd be hearing about it elsewhere too.

So, you get to decide how much you want to know about your mom, from who, etc. If you think your half-brother might have something to tell you that you'd a) actually be interested in knowing and b) wouldn't already be hearing from a bunch of other places already, give him a call back, and be ready to hear something that he shouldn't have been bothering you with because you're over the drama. Chances are if something more drastic has happened your phone would be blowing up, right?

FeelingGreat

Just wondering if he's ringing with bad news?

ajarlson

I think if it was bad news that would have been part of the message. My gut feeling is that he's pissed because she's pestering him to get ahold of me and tell me to call her. Which would also explain why he didn't call back after that, or text or anything. I sure appreciate all the grounding replies I get from everyone here, makes me feel more sane for sure.

tromboneliness

My sister used to call and not leave a message except "call me," when she wanted to manipulate me into one thing or another, or otherwise ask me something she knew I wouldn't want to hear. Eventually, I caught on and started... extending the delay-before-calling-back. Hey, if she's going to play games with me, back atcha, kid!

T