Shame attacks
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Cambridgeshire, UK
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Shame attacks
In my past I used experience the following at (seemingly) random times;
I’d be hit with an intense feeling of shame, embarrasment, exposure. I’d experience a flash back to something I did or said (fact), or something that I thought could happen or an imagined event (fiction), sometimes it would be something embarrassing and sometimes it could be something innocuous, or ‘normal’ i.e. an ordinary event that had those feelings attributed to it for reasons beyond my ken.
The flash back, or attck has a physical manifestation that makes me ‘draw breath’ (suck air) as if I’ve been stuck with a needle. I suck air and wince as if in pain and my body recoils and tenses. They’re horrible.
The shame attacks stopped a couple of years ago’ish (I can’t remember when), but I’ve noticed in the last two weeks I’ve had a couple. One this morning to an event probably 10 years ago that was actually innocuous – I’ve just thought, may the event I remember is - and I’ve attributed the shame to it - was an event where I had an attack (I don’t remember now, but it feels right’ish).
So today, in therapy, I was introduced to E.F.T (emotional freedom technique). Tapping… whilst it looks ridiculous and seemed implausible I’m happy to go to any lengths to rid myself of them, actually, I sort of thought (hoped at least) that I had, I’m going to give it further investigation and try it for a while.
For that matter, I don’t care if there is a placebo effect!
My first attempt in therapy seems to have had a positive effect… Anyone else any experience of this technique, or of shame attacks, or any other techniques that worked?
I’d be hit with an intense feeling of shame, embarrasment, exposure. I’d experience a flash back to something I did or said (fact), or something that I thought could happen or an imagined event (fiction), sometimes it would be something embarrassing and sometimes it could be something innocuous, or ‘normal’ i.e. an ordinary event that had those feelings attributed to it for reasons beyond my ken.
The flash back, or attck has a physical manifestation that makes me ‘draw breath’ (suck air) as if I’ve been stuck with a needle. I suck air and wince as if in pain and my body recoils and tenses. They’re horrible.
The shame attacks stopped a couple of years ago’ish (I can’t remember when), but I’ve noticed in the last two weeks I’ve had a couple. One this morning to an event probably 10 years ago that was actually innocuous – I’ve just thought, may the event I remember is - and I’ve attributed the shame to it - was an event where I had an attack (I don’t remember now, but it feels right’ish).
So today, in therapy, I was introduced to E.F.T (emotional freedom technique). Tapping… whilst it looks ridiculous and seemed implausible I’m happy to go to any lengths to rid myself of them, actually, I sort of thought (hoped at least) that I had, I’m going to give it further investigation and try it for a while.
For that matter, I don’t care if there is a placebo effect!
My first attempt in therapy seems to have had a positive effect… Anyone else any experience of this technique, or of shame attacks, or any other techniques that worked?
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
I have had neither though I have heard that tapping works wonders and is also used on those with PTSD. I hope you have great success with it. If you don't hear much here I suggest reposting on the mental health forum.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
There are times I genuinely feel bad about various things I've done in the sometimes distant past. Sometimes I've been drunk and done "bad" things and sometimes I've been sober. Some where accidental, some deliberate, some selfish and some cruel. I'm getting flashbacks now as I type.
Much as I don't like the memory it also reminds me that I've matured and have become a better person. I don't linger on the thoughts but would love to give a few people a heart-felt apology if I ever met them again.
I also get flash forwards where I think about my mortality and the certainty of death. I get these often when I'm just about to fall asleep and they do jolt me awake.
Much as I don't like the memory it also reminds me that I've matured and have become a better person. I don't linger on the thoughts but would love to give a few people a heart-felt apology if I ever met them again.
I also get flash forwards where I think about my mortality and the certainty of death. I get these often when I'm just about to fall asleep and they do jolt me awake.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Thanks for posting this. Shame attacks. Great term. That's exactly what they feel like. I'll look into this EFT tapping technique. Anything to alleviate them. They're horrible indeed. I hope you find long term relief!
Originally Posted by makomago 
In my past I used experience the following at (seemingly) random times;
I’d be hit with an intense feeling of shame, embarrasment, exposure. I’d experience a flash back to something I did or said (fact), or something that I thought could happen or an imagined event (fiction), sometimes it would be something embarrassing and sometimes it could be something innocuous, or ‘normal’ i.e. an ordinary event that had those feelings attributed to it for reasons beyond my ken.
The flash back, or attck has a physical manifestation that makes me ‘draw breath’ (suck air) as if I’ve been stuck with a needle. I suck air and wince as if in pain and my body recoils and tenses. They’re horrible.
The shame attacks stopped a couple of years ago’ish (I can’t remember when), but I’ve noticed in the last two weeks I’ve had a couple. One this morning to an event probably 10 years ago that was actually innocuous – I’ve just thought, may the event I remember is - and I’ve attributed the shame to it - was an event where I had an attack (I don’t remember now, but it feels right’ish).
So today, in therapy, I was introduced to E.F.T (emotional freedom technique). Tapping… whilst it looks ridiculous and seemed implausible I’m happy to go to any lengths to rid myself of them, actually, I sort of thought (hoped at least) that I had, I’m going to give it further investigation and try it for a while.
For that matter, I don’t care if there is a placebo effect!
My first attempt in therapy seems to have had a positive effect… Anyone else any experience of this technique, or of shame attacks, or any other techniques that worked?
I’d be hit with an intense feeling of shame, embarrasment, exposure. I’d experience a flash back to something I did or said (fact), or something that I thought could happen or an imagined event (fiction), sometimes it would be something embarrassing and sometimes it could be something innocuous, or ‘normal’ i.e. an ordinary event that had those feelings attributed to it for reasons beyond my ken.
The flash back, or attck has a physical manifestation that makes me ‘draw breath’ (suck air) as if I’ve been stuck with a needle. I suck air and wince as if in pain and my body recoils and tenses. They’re horrible.
The shame attacks stopped a couple of years ago’ish (I can’t remember when), but I’ve noticed in the last two weeks I’ve had a couple. One this morning to an event probably 10 years ago that was actually innocuous – I’ve just thought, may the event I remember is - and I’ve attributed the shame to it - was an event where I had an attack (I don’t remember now, but it feels right’ish).
So today, in therapy, I was introduced to E.F.T (emotional freedom technique). Tapping… whilst it looks ridiculous and seemed implausible I’m happy to go to any lengths to rid myself of them, actually, I sort of thought (hoped at least) that I had, I’m going to give it further investigation and try it for a while.
For that matter, I don’t care if there is a placebo effect!
My first attempt in therapy seems to have had a positive effect… Anyone else any experience of this technique, or of shame attacks, or any other techniques that worked?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Cambridgeshire, UK
Posts: 215
Originally Posted by Midton
There are times I genuinely feel bad about various things I've done in the sometimes distant past. Sometimes I've been drunk and done "bad" things and sometimes I've been sober. Some where accidental, some deliberate, some selfish and some cruel. I'm getting flashbacks now as I type.
Much as I don't like the memory it also reminds me that I've matured and have become a better person. I don't linger on the thoughts but would love to give a few people a heart-felt apology if I ever met them again.
I also get flash forwards where I think about my mortality and the certainty of death. I get these often when I'm just about to fall asleep and they do jolt me awake.
Much as I don't like the memory it also reminds me that I've matured and have become a better person. I don't linger on the thoughts but would love to give a few people a heart-felt apology if I ever met them again.
I also get flash forwards where I think about my mortality and the certainty of death. I get these often when I'm just about to fall asleep and they do jolt me awake.
These things STRIKE at seemingly random times, they're an instant 'FLASH' - which probably lasts only a second or two/three - they come with the associated pain of the feelings I describe (shame, exposure) they're strong enough to cause a physical reaction and intense enough to make me 'wince' and draw breath as if from pain or disgust/revulsion.
... And they're gone in an instant too, except I'm left recovering from the 'wtf just hit me' question.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 71
Unfortunately, I do identify and like you, periodic and sporadic during the past two years. Also unfortunately, this is something I still combat with "Old" traits, I do my best to power through them until they pass. It's exhausting, I guess that should tell me something. Thanks for the insight, something I will look into....the tapping that is. I've heard about it recently, keep us updated on progress.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
also google C-PTSD, or complex ptsd, and emotional flashbacks. i've found many terms for what i once called 'anxiety attacks' and i find they have different uses in different contexts. a rose by any other name. best wishes for your therapy. people often have strong opinions about EFT, going both ways - i say if it works for you, that's good enough 
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
EFT is a very useful tool for me in recovery. There is a ton of info available online, lots of stuff on youtube. I also wrote my own tapping scripts so that I could personalize more about what I was working on.
My DD used it to help alleviate testing stress at school when she first started standardized testing. It was that simple - I could teach it to my 8 yr old & she could take 2 mins privately in the bathroom taking a couple of deep breaths & using a simple EFT script. Between that & meditation her teacher noticed a marked difference in her from the beginning to the end of the school year; enough so that she went out of her way to comment about how calm, controlled & well aware of her boundaries DD had become.
Good luck!
My DD used it to help alleviate testing stress at school when she first started standardized testing. It was that simple - I could teach it to my 8 yr old & she could take 2 mins privately in the bathroom taking a couple of deep breaths & using a simple EFT script. Between that & meditation her teacher noticed a marked difference in her from the beginning to the end of the school year; enough so that she went out of her way to comment about how calm, controlled & well aware of her boundaries DD had become.
Good luck!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I do have shame attacks, but I don't really have them so much lately. They use to happen with some kind of regularity but for whatever reason (therapy, al-anon, self help books, etc.) they have kind of stopped. You're not alone and I'm sorry your having them again. I hope tapping/EFT works for you!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 71
"I could teach it to my 8 yr old & she could take 2 mins privately in the bathroom taking a couple of deep breaths & using a simple EFT script".
Hi FS. Where did get the script if I may ask? I'd be interested to also know if the script is geared towards children or is/was it uniform to work for yourself as well? Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it.
OGK
Hi FS. Where did get the script if I may ask? I'd be interested to also know if the script is geared towards children or is/was it uniform to work for yourself as well? Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it.
OGK
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 190
I think I understand this feeling. It will be a memory of something embarrassing or scary or uncomfortable, and I feel the 'oh my gooooooooooooood, that SUCKED" feeling again/replay the scenario/worry about it happening again, OR I notice I immediately start humming, I guess to try and block the thought out? It's like an unconscious reaction to them?
Sound familiar? Or like what you guys are talking about?
Sound familiar? Or like what you guys are talking about?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by OGK
"I could teach it to my 8 yr old & she could take 2 mins privately in the bathroom taking a couple of deep breaths & using a simple EFT script".
Hi FS. Where did get the script if I may ask? I'd be interested to also know if the script is geared towards children or is/was it uniform to work for yourself as well? Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it.
OGK
Hi FS. Where did get the script if I may ask? I'd be interested to also know if the script is geared towards children or is/was it uniform to work for yourself as well? Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it.
OGK
Thriving Now - Transform Your Emotional World... Live, Laugh, and Love with Confidence
This article is what made me go "Hmmmmmmm......." as my DD was going through this exact type of testing stress:
EFT Shortcut for School Children - Thriving Now
It summarizes a shortcut method for kids to use, but I ultimately just taught her the full version so that she didn't have to learn then re-learn the process. She already takes meditation & yoga classes & has a pretty mature grasp of these concepts despite her age.
I signed up for this site's email blast & got a lot of my info that way. Here's their link to the intro to tapping:
Tapping (EFT) Manual - Tapping Points and Instructions - Thriving Now
It has simple pictures I printed for DD to use as a reference for the tapping points:
Free EFT Tapping Point Images - Thriving Now
I think for her test anxiety specifically, we modified this script to be something she could remember more easily. (Although, I printed them out for her & she would keep it folded in her pocket sometimes):
EFT Universe - Tapping Emotional Freedom Techniques | EFT for Test Anxiety
She used this tool for a few months & then her confidence grew when she did well on the testing overall.
She also used it for a few months to rid herself of daily headaches that kept popping up every afternoon & used a modified version of this:
EFT Tapping Example 1: Headache - Thriving Now
When I say I modified these, I mean I tried to simplify them for her using fewer, easier to remember words & I tried to rhyme them whenever possible because she's very musical & could memorize them as little songs with odd beats.
If you google you'll also find a lot of info about writing & personalizing your own scripts, which was something I found very useful in getting in touch with my Inner Child issues. It's a tool, not a full on solution to a problem, but as a component to other kinds of therapy and/or recovery work it's been beneficial to us. Ultimately her rising confidence is what conquered her test stress (Big Picture), but using this method helped her manage the anxiety during the process (Right Now).
Hope this helps!
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