non-response to pregnancy announcement from "friend"
 

I have a close friend where our relationship is now less close. He hangs out with my estranged siblings like ALL the time (several times a week). I don't think he does much else with his time.

I've tried to keep in contact with him, but he will often not return a phone call. Not respond to an e-mail, etc.

I called him and ended up leaving a message about my wife's pregnancy (we've been trying for almost 5 years - and needed IVF for it to happen - a long and painful process).

THat was last monday. He hasn't responded since then.

Concerning another friend from high school that I have been spending way more time with recently (he's super nice to my wife and they get along fine) - He called me back immediately and wished us both well. He mentioned that it was exciting given how much my wife had been struggling with it for years. It was the kind of stuff I would think a trusted, supportive, close friend would say.

I think I'm going NC with the close friend that didn't respond to my pregnancy announcement. At least, I will not be making any effort to contact him. If he calls or e-mails, I will probably ask if he had received my pregnancy announcement because I hadn't heard from him.

Is a relationship like this with so much non-communication and withdrawal worth the effort? I mean, I'm excited to have a BABY DAUGHTER, and he has nothing to say? Seriously? :headbange

I think you already know the answer to this. We can't force people to be in our lives nor can we force ourselves in theirs.

Be with the people that are happy for you and want to be around for the celebration. That is the best thing you can do for the both of you. Don't fret!

What would the same guy do if you would call him at night needing his help? I just think, we’re all different and so are our reactions to different situations…While one friend will happily celebrate your victories and happy news with you, the same friend could be overwhelmed with helping you out in times of crisis. Another, probably a little self-absorbed friend – will read your email announcing happy news as “cool, he’s fine” and will not send a congrats card, but might be right there with you if the sh***hits the fan.
If the friendship with this guy lacks quality he might be due for a down-grade, however parameters for defining quality can vary, just as friends and friendships do.

One of my favorite quotes: "Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated."

I read this with relief. Sounds like they made their choice. Cool, more room in your life for people who make you feel good feelings.