Anger issues now out of my system (ha!)
 

Although my Dad has been gone for 4-1/2 years now, you guys probably can tell that I still have a [koff] few issues with him. But we do one thing at a time around here. So I'm happy to report that earlier this week, I went down to the courthouse and had my middle name changed -- it's now my wife's middle name, instead of my Dad's first name (which is the naming convention in my ethnic group).

I had thought of ditching the surname, too -- but (a) that's kind of a pain, and (b) it didn't originate with my Dad, and in fact has a proud history of its own, which I won't bore you with.

But anyhow, having expunged that bit of baggage, I should be all happy, joyous, and free (or at least reasonably priced) now. If I'm not, please let me know!

:a122::c033:

T

Good for you!!!!!

What a special thing to do for you! :) Congrats on the new middle name!

So, you haven't forgiven him? Or you have, but you prefer not to be reminded of him? Or you're still angry?

Sorry if I missed the backstory, just curious. I had a lot of anger for my dad too, until I realized he was sick too.

Oh, I'm working on forgiveness -- defined as "giving up hope for a better past." The name change was basically a final eff-you to the old guy, with the added benefit of helping my wife feel more secure, by adopting her maiden name as my middle name. We had a few bumps in the road over the past 2-3 years, and I think this helps her put them in the rear-view mirror.

As for my Dad being sick, well, he would certainly have a few choice words about that... but in any case, that's where the "giving up hope for a better past" comes in.

T

like what you did.

i had some anger issues with dad...11 years before he died...he had a massive stroke and I had a baby who was born and died at 2 months.

did grief therapy around son's death and worked heartily on forgiveness as well as healing from the intensity of a child death...that's where the therapist started me...when i became aware dad was dying (about two years before)--had a resurgence--felt like rage...and so did exercise to make myself feel better.

it was good to know that had forgiven him when he died...but kind of by accident.