seasaw

Well folks, after a week of feeling like a nervous wreck and feeling exhausted I...

#Sold the piano!! And my therapist says however my AM feels about it is not my problem!

#FINALLY had a yard sale, today - I made THREE TIMES what I thought I would make and I feel like I did really well, it gave me a sense of achievement - not holding onto things, not putting things off. I'm going to extend the sale into tomorrow. Letting go of things, and making money that helps me feel secure, and checking a HUGE task off my to-do list - all on a sunny day - made me feel like much less of a waste of space

#I went to my second therapist appointment. She's giving me a double session next time. I feel like this is a right step in taking caring of myself. I'm scared. I think they're going to change my meds? I need to learn more about SSRIs v SNRIs (thoughts?)

#I feel like I'm definitely going to make it to my first al-anon meeting this coming week. Nervous, but I know I need to try it.

#I woke up to a flat tire when I was running late already, and I didn't blink an eye. Solved the problem, moved on.

#Had a Major Cry last night. Wept. "I miss my parents." I DO miss my parents. I feel like the grieving is upon me. I am reading about mindfulness and acceptance.

But Mostly I had a GREAT YARD SALE today and it's a HUGE RELIEF! I don't know who else will pat me on the back so holler, SR!

EveningRose

Congratulations! Sounds like some good things!

seasaw

I think another reason yesterday felt like a big deal was that I was back to my usual charming wheeling-and-dealing self, when I've been totally avoiding social situations lately and holing up by myself instead

I know that it's because both of my parents are gone now that I wish I could get a pat on the back SOMEwhere... but I don't know what to do about that.

NWGRITS

Congrats on the yard sale! I rarely make enough to recoup the cost of the stinkin permit. You sound good. Keep posting and let us know how the appointment goes.

ajarlson

Congrats on the piano! I agree with your therapist (for what that's worth LOL).
My BP is down since I blocked my AM's number - amazing what letting go will do.

tromboneliness

Just to calm your nerves, remember that you don't have to -- and, in fact, aren't even necessarily expected to -- say anything! Most groups go around the room reading the 12 Steps at the beginning, each person reading one step, usually -- but in terms of sharing your story, you don't have to do that. I went to a meeting today at noon and didn't say a word! Not a problem... Good luck!

T

sadsister62

Isn't it so wonderful to have a really good day? Even your flat tire! Taking care and control over a situation that RESPONDS is a miracle in itself! Hoping for many more for you!

seasaw

Thank you so much everyone. I am becoming more and more appreciating of SR.

I'm going to start a new thread about my first meeting so other people can hopefully be encouraged to start, themselves!!

NWGRITS

If I don't talk during a meeting, someone usually calls shenanigans to find out what's up. Those are the days I NEED to talk but I'm isolating. In my case, it's ok that they call me on it because they know me well enough there. But for a newbie, we always let them dictate how much or how little they want to share. No pressure at all.

thotful

Each meeting is different. I've been to meetings where they go around the room one at a time (you can always say, "pass"). I've also been to meetings where members have to volunteer themselves. In my home group, there have been members who attend 6-10 meetings before they speak, and that's just fine.

Glad you've got some spring in your step! I'm wishing you luck & serenity & peace with the Al-Anon meeting. in my first meeting, I was uncontrollably sobbing when thinking about how different my father was when he cut-back and didn't drink hard liquor (but kept drinking beer). but Also, I felt like other people's shares were coming out of my own diary, my own personal story. All this stuff hidden was coming to light. A lot to take in, but OH SO healing for me.

It was like I was hearing from the diary I had thrown away, dropped in the ocean, hidden, etc. And I needed to hear from it.

Since then, I kept coming back, and I continue attending. It's like breathing air for me.

irisgardens

Congrats! Selling the piano...the yard sale...therapist and starting meetings! You are moving super fast and in a very decisive direction...for the better.

I am giving you the pat on the back...and I am guessing that you will receive it from many.

:-)

Kialua

I miss the parents I never had, the parents I deserved to have. I don't miss the parents I had.

Congrats on selling the piano and taking control of the situation.