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Kialua 10-30-2014 02:54 PM

TV and movie triggers
 
Recently I've been noticing how I can't enjoy tv and movies like others and how they are actually intended to be experienced. I don't mean horror shows and torture shows, of course I can't watch those after being beat for 18 years growing up, but even innocent run-of-the-mill shows.

One example is the harmless show on Hallmark channel "Cedar Cove". I have watched about 10 episodes and they have all been very nice and harmless but while watching I am reading into it like crazy. I keep waiting for the crazy to kick in, like in my life growing up: The girl that has too much to drink and goes out alone I think is going to be violated or abused by the guy friend that helps her, not; the ex that shows up I think he is out to have an affair, not; the guy that shipped out I expect him to be mad that the girlfriend shows up looking for him, not. Only after 10 shows I noticed how skewed my thinking and viewing skills are.

I could go on with examples, but the gist of it is that I keep waiting for something bad to happen that will end in violence. This is not the only show, I do it with everything I watch but I just didn't notice it until recently with this show that keeps rolling on with an even keel. I keep waiting for "the other shoe to drop". Sure there are some shows that do write with emotional roller coasters but many other shows don't write like that.

I don't know, I just can't sit back and relax without reading all this drama into everything I watch. I have been actively trying to not do this with this show in particular but it's so hard. Anyone else go through this or am I alone in my viewing habits?
:abce:

I guess it will be more HGTV for me with no drama except bad plumbing.
happyface: :herewego

happybeingme 10-30-2014 03:00 PM

My viewing tastes run to macabre and crime types so I dont look for the other shoe to drop because I know it will happen. But, I get what you mean. My reading tastes are broader and I sometimes find myself thinking like you do and when the bad doesnt happen I cant quite believe in the story. They are too fairytale-ish

Kialua 10-30-2014 05:39 PM


Originally Posted by happybeingme (Post 4986072)
They are too fairytale-ish

That's just it, I think they are too fairytale-ish too. But some lives are like that and I have a very hard time watching that with ease. Not that my life has been terribly hard since I left home. I have a great hubby and kids, etc., but boy did that first 18 years stick with my subconscious and squeaks out when I am least expecting it to. Everyone else is watching the slow enjoying it and being happy and I am sitting there all tense just waiting for "it" to happen. Then when it's over I am surprised and wished I would have enjoyed it for what it was.
:irked:

Payne 10-31-2014 05:24 AM

I think my favorites are random ones like last night I was watching Gilmore Girls, the daughter gets broken up with and she immediately runs into her moms arms, who is ready to yell at her but at seeing her upset immediately stops and just holds her. I bust out into tears. I actually stopped and thought "Why" last night and realized it because as much as I love the people around me and they would do that, I am not hard wired to lean on someone with such reckless abandon.
Another one that kicks my butt is Once Upon a Time, Oh man the undertones of family and being able to depend on them mixed with Emma's very identifiable for me issues can leave me in a ball of tears at any given moment. Yet the masochist in me adores both of these shows. Odd, guess it must be some semblance of catharsis, a way to relate with "someone" without having to talk to another person about the things that make me weak, and oh man do I hate being weak.

Kialua 10-31-2014 12:11 PM

Wow I just did it again, as I read your description of the girl running into the Mom's arms, my mind was racing ahead and I thought for sure you would say that the Mom did yell at her and say something like, "Well it's all YOUR fault for picking such a jerk! Stop the hysterics!" Had to reread it twice to see that my brain tricked me and as I did I kept thinking "huh, imagine that."

Yeah I never get all that family stuff that is so overriding and determining, when they turn to family for all the help all the time on these shows. Even though I know for sure that I AM there for my kids and nephews and nieces in a minute, even in the middle of the night, I don't believe anyone is there for me.

Payne 10-31-2014 12:50 PM

After all the years and all the support that I rationally know I am insanely blessed to have, I think the 22 years that I believed abandonment and degradation were the norm for life will always win out. I struggle every day to try and get past that, I consciously work on having a more open heart, on letting people be there for me, but at the core of myself even though I know I would drop it all for someone I love it's nearly impossible for me to believe it. The actions and words of those I surround myself with tell me that there is no reason to feel that way, but still the child in me doesn't know how to listen. It may be a lifelong struggle.

I also have a problem with negativity, and my friends still shake their heads when they move quickly and I flinch. Only my best friend and boyfriend have managed to have me stop that reaction and that was due to hundreds of supportive and positive interactions. However I do notice that even though i work on positivity in journals, my speech, and in what I read it is not usually my first thought or response. Today, I met with 2 directors 3 administrators and my boss about an amazing opportunity when asked how I felt about it I said cautiously optimistic, because I can see what could go wrong.

There was a metaphor about clocks that my friend learned at an AA meeting. I can't remember the story about it but the gist was don't spend all your time making clocks aka, don't spend all your time worrying about problems that don't exist. I repeat it frequently and also remind myself that like it or not this is my life, the life I was dealt, no amount of wishing will take that away so the best thing I can do is be gentle to myself and remember its a marathon and a party not a sprint. :)

Kialua 10-31-2014 10:37 PM

Yes it is a marathon, and just when I think I'm at the finish line something pops up and I have to start all over again. But that might be a good thing. At least I finally noticed the way I am viewing entertainment and realize it is through my warped filter. It's very hard to remove that filter even now that I am aware of it. Kind of unsettling now that I am observing myself. I do wonder if I will ever be able to view a show how others view it without reading so much into it.

Congrats on your new work opportunity, sounds exciting but I understand the discernment of the reality of possible problems. That can be a positive in and of itself, as we are prepared to deal with situations in ways others don't understand.

Popeye2014 11-01-2014 06:07 AM

Anyone ever watch "Mom" on CBS

It's about a Mother and her daughter that goes to AA meetings, and other daily problems they deal with sober.

It's a Comedy show

NorCaliGal 11-01-2014 07:00 AM


Originally Posted by Popeye2014 (Post 4989122)
Anyone ever watch "Mom" on CBS

It's about a Mother and her daughter that goes to AA meetings, and other daily problems they deal with sober.

It's a Comedy show

Yes I've watched it. I've had mixed feelings about it. I've laughed, and then thought "should I be laughing at this?"

Sucks when you overthink a 30 minute comedy show. Ugh!

NCG

Kialua 11-01-2014 10:02 AM


Originally Posted by NorCaliGal (Post 4989194)
Sucks when you overthink a 30 minute comedy show. Ugh!
NCG

LOL exactly! I did have to quit watching that show, just too tumultuous for me.

NWGRITS 11-01-2014 11:42 PM

I hardly ever watch tv. Last thing I watched regularly was True Blood. Not exactly a feel-good type of show, but I was still mad when it ended. I get my news from HuffPo and the NYT. Anyway, I've had a hard time with shows that make light of drinking or family issues. Can't watch anything depicting sexual violence. I'm better off with my newspapers and the occasional Redbox movie.

Yankee73 11-08-2014 04:29 PM

I used to feel that way when watching tv as a kid. Even if it was a comedy, you'd see the child having a problem and they could always reach out to a parent for support. I thought it was a bunch of bull, until I got old enough to see that decent parents actually DID act like that.

Payne 11-10-2014 05:33 AM

Yankee, wow I just remembered feeling that way too, I would always get annoyed that the kids were such "wimps".

Kialua 11-11-2014 08:53 PM

Christmas Story is being advertised on tv again. I now realize that the first time I saw that I was so on edge I couldn't enjoy it at all. I was convinced the Dad was a nut and he was going to go ballistic on all of them at any moment. When they ended up at the restaurant and they showed the big meat cleaver I was sure he was going to go on a killing spree, but when they only chopped the duck's head off I was stunned.

Even when the Dad never got abusive and the show was over I was still convinced he was evil and the other people just couldn't see it. I thought of how awful it would be to live with such an angry person. I kept finding fault with it until I couldn't find any more. Maybe this year I can finally watch it and enjoy it!

Kialua 11-11-2014 08:55 PM

Christmas Story is being advertised on tv again. I now realize that the first time I saw that I was so on edge I couldn't enjoy it at all. I was convinced the Dad was a nut and he was going to go ballistic on all of them at any moment. When they ended up at the restaurant and they showed the big meat cleaver I was sure he was going to go on a killing spree, but when they only chopped the duck's head off I was stunned.

Even when the Dad never got abusive and the show was over I was still convinced he was evil and the other people just couldn't see it. I thought of how awful it would be to live with such an angry person. I kept finding fault with it until I couldn't find any more.

Maybe this year I can finally watch it and enjoy it! :a122:


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