Reslapse
 

My mother just relapse after nearly 4 years of sobriety. She also struggles with no polar which is definitely not helpful to sobriety, but can be managed. When she started drinking again it messed with her medication and now she is an active alcoholic and mentally unstable. Most of my family is made and disappointed, I'm neither, sadly I feel immune to any real emotions about the situation. My life in recovery has given me very thick skin toward relapse and death by this disease, and my real emotion is guilt that I don't feel anything. Can anyone relate to that? Is that possibly something to do with me not dealing with grief correctly?

And apparently:) I struggle with the spelling of relapse!! Haha

Hey Ryan, I learnt as I grew up to numb myself to my dad, who was an alcoholic, my parents got divorced in my teens over it and he eventually died of it, but by then I had learnt to distance myself from it all on an emotional level!!

I guess it was a coping mechanism, I could lead my life and block out what was happening at home or with my parents and my dad, none of it was going to affect it, I went to school and acted normal, went to jobs, had relationships, HIS alcoholism wasn't going to affect any of that!!

Looking in on alcoholism can just be frustrating as there is very little can be done unless the person themselves wants to change, we all have to deal with it in different ways I guess!!

I think you are describing detachment, which is healthy. As for not feeling "more", there comes a point with a parent who is mentally ill or a substance abuser (or both, in this case) choosing not to get help where you simply stop taking it personally. We are conditioned by society to love and respect our parents so that guilt is an outside factor that has no place in our emotions. Don't take on that baggage just because you think you should be feeling a certain way. Feelings are feelings, they are not right or wrong.

This pretty much covers what I was going to say. Eventually you get to a point where you're done. And that's ok.