DoubleDragons

When I was in therapy in my twenties concerning FOO issues, my therapist kept emphasizing that with my parents' personality disorders (narcissism and possibly borderline personality disorder), I should only expect things to get worse with them, not better. And she was right.

BUT, what I didn't count on was the other side of the equation. That even though they are getting worse, I have counteracted that because I have gotten BETTER. I got sober 10 months ago, realizing that my drinking was really about letting them abuse me, all over again. My drinking was about validating their behavior at my expense and at the expense of my immediate family, the people I truly love in my life. I have gotten healthier and they have shrunk in the face of my healthy changes.

I feel good and powerful and strong and that is not at all related to their state of minds or what they think about me. Thank you, God, for showing me the light.

happybeingme

That is awesome insight DoubleD. It reads like a sticky worthy post to me. I am glad to read you are feeling so good.

ladyscribbler

I remember back in the day one of my mom's friends had a personalized license plate that read: GTN BTR. Maybe you should appropriate that for yourself. Big hugs, I'm so happy for you.

NWGRITS

"Living well is the best revenge." It really is. Choosing to live my life in a healthy way has done so much more than all the yelling, cajoling, and begging of a wayward 20+ years.

Croissant

Yeah...I cut my Dad off in my 20s (when I didn't drink).

Sadly...I let the door open when my drinking started...I think I wanted to play happy families and pretend I had at least some veneer of a family. It was all smoke and mirrors.

There were some times when it was good. But yes, only when I played the role I was assigned.