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Trying to cut contact with addict mother

Old 07-30-2014, 02:40 PM
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Trying to cut contact with addict mother

Hi, first time posting. A little background...my mother did not raise me, she gave me to my grandparents who loved me and raised me as well as they could (she was 18 when she had me). She "asked" for me back when I was 14 and I went into a new house with a half brother and step brother I did not know. I was never part of her "new" family and it was made clear to me by my step father's relatives that I wasn't part of the "real" family. Mom and step father were both recovering addicts but fell back into it when I was in my 20s. Fast forward 32 years, I'm 50, step father is dead (he wasn't a bad sort but I wasn't his kid). My mother decided years ago she wanted to be a little old lady (she's 68 NOW so she's young) and started adding prescription drugs to her alcohol regiment. She fell out of bed a couple years ago after drinking a bottle of codeine cough syrup and broke her hip. Never did the therapy after, just continued to take pain meds and drink. During this she assumed it was my responsibility to take care of her. I was married to an alcoholic for years and it was her idea for me to go to Al-Anon. I did and I can now see that if I continue to "help her" it is dragging me right back into co-dependent and enabling behavior. She knows she is a drug addict and she doesn't care, she has said that when confronted. People around her also think it should be my responsibility to care for her as she's "not doing well". Of course she's not doing well! If the doctor won't give her as much as she wants she buys pills from a lady in her complex. Been doing that for years. I want to cut contact, but people keep calling me wanting me to "do something". They put me on the defensive trying to explain why there is nothing I can do to help her unless she wants help. My biggest questions are - is it ethically OK NOT to call these people back? (I don't answer my phone, let it go to voice mail.) I think I already know that it's more than ok to cut contact with her (my kids can't stand her and I have promised them they don't have to see her anymore). But the phone calls bug me because I feel like I should call them back, her friends, her sister-in-law etc. It really isn't my responsibility to take care of a drug addict bitch who didn't raise me - right? Thanks all.
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Old 07-30-2014, 02:56 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR. My opinion? No you dont need to call those people back. If she is doingg poorly there are state and county programs where she can get free and reduced cost assistance. It is not your responsibility.

However, if you want the calls to stop I suggest you answer them and tell people in no uncertain terms that you are not going to take care of her and you have no interest in hearing about her. Let these people know that you have no intention to talk to any of them about her again
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Old 07-30-2014, 03:01 PM
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Thanks. For some reason even some of my friends think I "owe" it to people I hardly know to call them back and explain myself. So I am wavering between thinking I just want to avoid conflict or whether I really don't owe them anything LOL
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Old 07-30-2014, 03:14 PM
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I can understand that but the constant calls would make me nuts. My feeling best to nip it in the bud
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Old 07-30-2014, 03:16 PM
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We don't owe any adult anything - no explanations, no call backs, etc. They can choose to think about us, what they like, but we do not owe them anything!! Take good care of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the less others can manipulate you and control you.
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:19 PM
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More nasty phone calls from another of my mother's friends last night (voice mail, I wouldn't answer). They were on the edge of harassment - lots of swear words, threatening to call the cops on me and call my work. It's amazing how quickly I can feel like a horrible person just because someone screams it at me. My daughter and S/O heard the calls and were outraged, my daughter called her and it ended up my mother called my daughter back apologizing. Heading to a counselor tomorrow to figure out how to deal with all this negativity. Won't call my mother until I speak with a professional, it's too confusing and I need help working through it. However, one thing it did was to solidify my knowledge that even if it means a group of people will regard me as a horrible human being and hate my guts, it will be better than the alternative. Thanks for letting me vent!
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Old 08-05-2014, 10:03 PM
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The next time someone calls, just say "Not my circus, not my monkey." If you do happen to end up engaging, ask them why they won't take care of her if it's so important. And then hang up. FWIW, I went No Contact with my AM two years ago and have never regretted it. Cut out most of my FOO, too.
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Old 08-06-2014, 01:08 PM
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Thanks, I started seeing a counselor again this week to deal with the anxiety I feel when I think about my mom throwing her life away and living in a crap hole. It was very helpful, I am "taking a break" which is easier to think about than cutting contact forever. Apparently I need to learn to create boundaries and stick up for myself LOL. This site has been very helpful, just knowing there are other people going through the same thing has been strengthening. My counselor made a statement that really got to me about standing up for myself - "Don't you think you're worth it?" Answer - yes - I guess so!
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Old 08-12-2014, 10:29 AM
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I personally don't believe it's your responsibility to care for someone who didn't raise you. I think you're right in saying it's not really even possible.

As to the phone calls, can you put a block on their numbers? How many times have they called? Do you have records? If it's to the level of harassment, you can report it. You can warn them you will report if they keep calling. You can block their phone numbers and e-mail addresses.

Last time my dad called (nearly 4 years ago) and left a dozen voicemails swearing at me, threatening to show up at my work, calling me names, and accusing me of one thing after another, I blocked his number. Problem solved.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:15 AM
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Thanks all. We have told them we will call the police if harassment continues and it stopped. My mother called three times Thursday night saying she was dying. I went over Friday evening and someone had brought her a bottle of vodka so she was fine again. Was going to walk out when she said something that triggered an outpouring from me, just telling her that she was beautiful, intelligent and YOUNG (68) and I was not going to stand around and watch her flush her life down the toilet. She was receptive until I told her I would never buy her alcohol again (starting on my boundaries). Her face turned blank, she turned away from me and didn't speak to me again, so I left. Haven't heard from her since. Not sure if it feels better but it certainly doesn't feel worse.
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Old 10-08-2014, 06:46 PM
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Sorry to butt in on this board but I am interested to know a few things if you or others don't mind?

Did your Grandparents know your Mum was still drinking when you returned to her?

Did you ever return to them or think of returning to them?

If your Grandma was looking after your Mum AND you and the toll of looking after your Mum was too much for her so you were taken away and put into care due to Mums drinking would you be upset with your Grandma?

I looked after BOTH of them ( I am a Grandma ) ie I took care of my DD when she was actively drinking which she still is as I was told by social services I had to be there if she was drinking in order to make sure my GS's needs were met , this went on for a while but I ended up suffering with exhaustion and had to go home which is when the sh*t hit the fan!

I wish I took my GS home with me but I had so much other stuff going on as well as the impact of my DD's progressive drinking , I had 3 bereavements to deal with , one being my baby Granddaughter from my older DD so am not sure if I could fully care for him PROPERLY like he deserves at the time and I ended up in burn out situation

So he is now in care , he has special needs so I don't think he understands what is going on but do you think he would blame ME? I didn't remove him from that situation and I feel bad and guilty about that

I have fallen out with my DD we are barely talking but civil because I am honest with social services about her drinking and am SERIOUS about protecting my GS from it at all times now - I do NOT want him to be around her drinking at ALL , EVER!!!

He has been through enough and when I was there I took good care of him but I don't WANT him to be 'there' any more ie at home with Mum drinking and I don't want to be in that enviroment either!

I don't want my GS to think I abandoned him because I didn't - I want to have him with me full time but SS are assessing me as they want to ensure of course that I would safe guard my GS at ALL times which I WOULD - I am stricter than them in many ways now! lol My DD is still actively drinking and yet they are talking about returning him to her , she lies to them and expects me to do the same which I will NOT - I WANT to protect my GS too and I don't actually want him to be returned too early if at all if she is still drinking!!!

Do you think my GS would feel bad towards me because I was too busy ''looking after Mummy'' after her losses and some other things which meant she hit the bottle hard and even though I looked after him too and he was happy and well but I KEPT him in that enviroment for 5 whole months and I feel really bad about that

I feel like that is my punishment for not having him with me now ( he is in foster care ) I feel I should have put him first and foremost rather than ''look after'' my DD while she was drinking after the bereavements etc but I felt torn in two at the time but not any more! My focus is on HIM now and I am hoping that I do get another chance with him because I do adore him x

He is 7
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Old 10-08-2014, 07:10 PM
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Originally Posted by cazzap06 View Post
Sorry to butt in on this board but I am interested to know a few things if you or others don't mind? ...
No worries, cazzap, answering questions is what SR is all about

Originally Posted by cazzap06 View Post
... do you think he would blame ME? I didn't remove him from that situation and I feel bad and guilty about that ... He is 7...
I don't think there is any way anybody can guess what your grandson is thinking. All I can tell you is that when I was 7 years old what I needed most was simply to be loved. At that age I was not able to figure out the ways of the adult world. _My_ world was just what I could see around me, nothing beyond that.

Originally Posted by cazzap06 View Post
... I ended up suffering with exhaustion ...
From reading your post it seems to me like you did _more_ than could be humanly expected. I can't imagine anybody would fault you. I think that if you had tried to take on the responsibility of a 7 year old, and with special needs, while _you_ were allready overwhelmed and exhausted would have resulted in _not_ taking care of him properly.

I think you did the responsible thing, you did _not_ place that 7 year old in the care of somebody who, at the time, was too exhausted to care for him.

Originally Posted by cazzap06 View Post
... My focus is on HIM now and I am hoping that I do get another chance with him ...
I think that is all that matters. The past is done, it's the present that matters.

As a 7 year old I would not have understood any of the issues you bring up. As an adult, today, it would have been a gift from heaven to have had a grandma that loved me the way you clearly love your grandson. I think you are doing just fine with a truly horrible situation.

Mike
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Old 10-09-2014, 12:51 AM
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I always wondered why no one rescued me from the age of three, and I resented them when I was grown up. Any situation would have been better than what I lived through.

Don't know how your GS will react, but that's my story.
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Old 10-09-2014, 03:25 AM
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Thank you for your input - I have to concentrate on keeping myself well just in case they let me have him

I have moved home and have a beautiful room ready for him with his special needs toys and Mr Tumble DVD's etc - I know it's not about that ie ''things'' but I just so want him to be HAPPY

I like to think if I'm happy he's happy and if he's happy I'm happy , neither of us are happy with the current situation

I can't get my head round what has happened to this family , how it went from normal to awfulness but it was a steady decline with 'good' patches inbetween ( my DD does not drink every day but when she does hit the bottle it is HARD and for 3 days solid with no eating food ) the 'spaces' inbetween her drinking bouts have got much shorter as well - I can see it is a progressive disease

I so WANT to rescue him so have been working with social services but that in itself has been difficult as I keep hitting a brick wall with them and have done my best with them now to show them I am capable and WILL safe guard him to the MAX

I have not told my DD my current address in order for future safe guarding so she does not even know where I live

I reported her to the police when she turned up at my old address drink driving - I felt it was my duty to protect the PUBLIC , she is putting innocent people at risk let alone herself and I almost 'wait' for the phone call from the hospital to say she has crashed her car!

I do NOT want my GS going from foster home to foster home and I feel so helpless as SS said they don't want to move him because he is 'settled'

The ONLY good thing at the moment is I KNOW he is being fed and having his basic needs met whereas if he was at home right now I would be worrying if he was being fed or even looked after at all!

If I am there I KNOW it happens at least ie he is occupied , cuddled , played with , interacted with , fed well , with enough fluids - Hate to think of him not even getting enough WATER if he was at home with drunk Mum!

And still SS say their plan is to return him to Mum but they don't know ''when'' as yet - I hate the thought of him in foster care and I look at the foster Mum and say to myself ''why are YOU better at looking after my GS than I AM'' .... And the answer comes back ''she's NOT'' but this is the situation and I hate to say it but at present at least foster care is the lesser of 2 evils , but I do so want him in my care , have a couple more sessions with my bereavement counsellor and want to be FULLY and permanently on my feet as like you said I would want the placement to be a SUCCESSFUL one and I did / do need a little more time myself to be 100% well and in a permanently good place

It's catch 22 , being away from him and worrying about the whole situation makes me feel unwell and yet I HAVE to be well in order to have him if needed or if SS ever change their minds

I have told them I want NO payment for looking after him and that should stand me in good stead as I notice they do like to think about the money side of things but I live VERY far from his school and they don't want to move him so it might cost them to sort out some transport for him but at least they won't be paying me like they do for a foster parent

I just have to be patient I reckon , it is worrying thinking my GS is being DAMAGED emotionally and mentally in the mean time but I DID NOT DO THE DAMAGE my DD's DRINKING did and still IS as she is still in denial stage

It is the worst and most heart breaking time of my entire life and I am not young! But I am going to try and concentrate on getting the house nice for him - I have a small dining table and chairs being delivered today so we can eat at the table together and a new heater so its COZY and warm as winter is coming , going to secondary glaze the windows too to keep the heat in and get a nice rug for his room , it always has been and always will be ''his room'' just gonna keep hoping and praying it actually HAPPENS as I so want him here , happy and secure , it's all I want for him
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:42 AM
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cazzap06 Just wondering if you are in the same county? Or maybe you are not in the US. Grandparents have rights to take their kids here. I took my nephew from my sister and it was not even questioned. I was across the metro area from her and not in the same school. They wanted to put them in foster care but said preference was given to blood relatives. They wanted me to be a foster parent and to get paid but I said no. I didn't want any government interference with them. By the time he was 13 the court said he could choose who he wanted to live with and I got him to go with his Dad.
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Old 10-10-2014, 01:35 PM
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cazzap06 - My grandparents sent me back to my mother after she had been in AA for a while, remarried, had a "stable" life (unfortunately our relationship was already permanently damaged on both sides). They have since passed away. I believe they did the best they could, she would never have stayed in one place long enough for them to take care of her, so they took care of me. By the time she started drinking again I was an adult and moved out with my own kids. I loved my grandparents very much and know it's because of them that I turned out as normal as I did. Funny about the being rescued, they rescued me at age 3 and I am eternally grateful. My mother called last night, all chipper and just wanted to make arrangements for me to pick up my grandmother's piano (YAY!). I was pleasant back. As long as I stay within my boundaries I think I'll be ok. No talking to her when she's smashed (so when she calls it ALWAYS goes to voicemail). No taking care of something that happened because she was smashed (cleaning up things she broke etc) and no buying alcohol or drinking with her. Those are boundaries I can live with and still have some sort of relationship. And if she doesn't want to have much contact with me because of them, so be it. I think I am starting to find peace.
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Old 10-10-2014, 05:29 PM
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Excellent Ajarlson , your boundaries sound very healthy and balanced

I am in the UK , once social services get hold of a case they love playing God but not in a very Godly way! ;-)

Judgmentalism , negativity , twisted truth , blatant lies ANYTHING they can POSSIBLY use against you they WILL , even ''positives'' are somehow turned to ''negatives'' I don't even know how they do it , but something which is BLATANTLY positive they are somehow able to TWIST into a negative and even if you try and correct them they take NO notice at all , don't listen to the TRUTH , they see what they want to see and if they WANT to say ''no'' however fully capable the person is they WILL say no and TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN DOING SO , it's like they ENJOY it , their job is to take ANYTHING they can even just ONE sentence among MANY and JUMP on it and twist it to use it against you , they do not SEE or acknowledge the positives , so this is what I am up against so I stay QUIET now rather than give them ANY ammunition to use against me and I just hope the truth is so smacking them in the face one day that they CANNOT ignore it! ;-) LOL

Am just going to be calm and consistent and nod and agree and let them see that is is their idea in the end and their decision because you have to comply with them and acknowledge that they are the mighty 'gods' with all the power

They love it! LOL

But I DON'T and sadly nor does my DGS xxxx
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Old 10-10-2014, 05:42 PM
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If you take it above their heads hoping that someone will listen to you it comes as a surprise ( unfortunately ) to then know and realise that they are ''all in it together'' and once again are you not only NOT HEARD you are even MORE condemned and they are even more patting each other on the back coz they are the winners and they certainly are a team!!!! x

I am just going to continue the way I am going I KNOW I am fully capable of having him and looking after him WELL , I have a support network in place already , my home is nearly ready , I am very nearly ready and everything is in place to have him , it is just about them recognising it when they are READY to or have no choice to as in there is no where else for them to send him , then they will be knocking on my door , but I will still have to be COMPLIANT with them and be soooooooo GRATEFUL to them and if they DO actually ''see it'' as in SEE I am fully capable of having him one day then I will fall off my chair in SURPRISE ;-) xx

If they EVER actually COMPLIMENTED me or said something positive about me my head would drop on the floor in surprise , if I listened to the long list of ( untrue! ) negatives and believed them my self esteem would be cr*p but I don't and WON'T listen to their negative opinions of me because they are not even TRUE , if they were I would ACKNOWLEDGE them and when they are right I TELL them which they love , but when they are wrong there is NO TELLING THEM at all , they will NOT accept it , they will NOT listen and they are never wrong!
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Old 10-10-2014, 05:51 PM
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When I talk to them they are sitting there with their pen and paper like vultures WAITING for me to say ONE thing they can USE against me and as soon as I SAY whatever it is ( I don't even know what they are looking for! ) they JUMP on it in glee and write something on the notepad and seem VERY pleased with themselves for doing so , for finding YET MORE ammunition to use against me

It's like a vulture waiting for a juicy worm to come out of your mouth so they can feed on it and snap it up and it is NOT my imagination! ;-) xxx

I AM NOT SAYING ANOTHER WORD NOW , it is up to them but also a HIGHER POWER than them from now on! :-) xx

Good luck to everyone with their journeys! x
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Old 10-11-2014, 07:20 AM
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cazzap06 Good luck, play their game and I hope you win! Much different here in the US.

ajarlson sounds like a good plan. Keeping your boundaries will help, they sound like perfectly acceptable boundaries. I've had people thinking I should "do" something for my mom, who was the enabler of my abusive alcoholic dad. I've even had hospital staff call me and scold me for not being there when she was in hospital. What they didn't know was that she was a confirmed hypochondriac and how physically and mentally abusive she was, allowing my dad to beat us and joining in. I called the doctor in charge and finally told him the whole story and said she was darn lucky anyone was even speaking to her. I berated him for putting her in the hospital every time she had a ache or pain and ordering up myriads of MRI's CAT scans and every test you can think of with 4 day stays on the medicare dime. They never found a thing wrong with her once. They never called again.
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