View Poll Results: Are you an alcoholic/addict?
Alcoholic
102
54.55%
Addict
14
7.49%
Neither
54
28.88%
Other (explain)
17
9.09%
Voters: 187. You may not vote on this poll
Are you an alcoholic/addict?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 62
I am a recovering alcoholics - 2+ years by the grace of god and AA. My wife is an alcoholic too and is 4+ months sober.
Mom was raised by two alcoholics - she had an abusive father and a mother that developed schizophrenia as a result of both the physical and substance abuse. My mom is an unrecovered ACOA. Both my parents are not alcoholics.
I married in to a top shelf narcissistic alcoholic family. I have been around them since I was 20 and consider myself an ACOA by way of them because of the effect they had on me since I was 20. I am textbook son of a narcissistic father. My coping mechanism was to beat the snot out all of father in laws accomplishments by beating them all in to the ground - financials, career achievements, etc.. I literally made a false idol out of my in laws and their lifestyle. Luckily when I exceeded their accomplishments and my alcoholism became end stage I realized that their design for living never made me happy and that everything I thought would make me happy - primarily money and power - left me so soul sick.
It took hitting bottom and the rooms of AA to teach me how to live and what was truly important in life. I am very blessed to be in a recovering marriage and a sober father for two young boys. Life is good today.
Mom was raised by two alcoholics - she had an abusive father and a mother that developed schizophrenia as a result of both the physical and substance abuse. My mom is an unrecovered ACOA. Both my parents are not alcoholics.
I married in to a top shelf narcissistic alcoholic family. I have been around them since I was 20 and consider myself an ACOA by way of them because of the effect they had on me since I was 20. I am textbook son of a narcissistic father. My coping mechanism was to beat the snot out all of father in laws accomplishments by beating them all in to the ground - financials, career achievements, etc.. I literally made a false idol out of my in laws and their lifestyle. Luckily when I exceeded their accomplishments and my alcoholism became end stage I realized that their design for living never made me happy and that everything I thought would make me happy - primarily money and power - left me so soul sick.
It took hitting bottom and the rooms of AA to teach me how to live and what was truly important in life. I am very blessed to be in a recovering marriage and a sober father for two young boys. Life is good today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
My dad was alcoholic so was his dad plus gambling addict.
I hope to have broken the chain with coming up to 2 years sober.
Been an active addict and alcoholic but my daughter has never seen the behaviour so hopefully she is safe.
I hope to have broken the chain with coming up to 2 years sober.
Been an active addict and alcoholic but my daughter has never seen the behaviour so hopefully she is safe.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I have broken the dynastic chain of addiction in my family by getting sober and not having children.
My wife and I don't live in an environment like I was raised in.
We were at a party recently with a fair amount of people who still drink and party hard (at our age, that must really hurt a lot).
I'm glad that we don't live our lives that way and that we don't have a reputation as being part of a hard partying crowd.
We drank iced tea and bottles of water.
No one appeared to have a better time than us.
My wife and I don't live in an environment like I was raised in.
We were at a party recently with a fair amount of people who still drink and party hard (at our age, that must really hurt a lot).
I'm glad that we don't live our lives that way and that we don't have a reputation as being part of a hard partying crowd.
We drank iced tea and bottles of water.
No one appeared to have a better time than us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I am an alcoholic from a family of alcoholics and addicts in its bloodline. I also made a choice not to have children, made during my practicing years of drinking, to avoid the chance of that malady possibly being passed along.
I was "raised" by an alcoholic father but also by a mother and grandparents who didn't have any drinking problem. I guess that you could say that my mother had a problem of codependency that kept us in that environment, but I didn't realize that until I learned about what that means first hand in adulthood. At any rate, my life growing up was in dysfunctional surroundings.
I cannot change what happened with me in my younger years or that I became a serious alcoholic quickly after my first drink.
Some say that they are a grateful ___________. I don't personally feel that way, I still harbor distress over what I did and will need much more time to, if ever, come to terms with it. I do appreciate my life in early sobriety and aim to improve upon it by continued abstinence and active work on my mental health and vision for being a person that I think is what I know to be good within me.
I was "raised" by an alcoholic father but also by a mother and grandparents who didn't have any drinking problem. I guess that you could say that my mother had a problem of codependency that kept us in that environment, but I didn't realize that until I learned about what that means first hand in adulthood. At any rate, my life growing up was in dysfunctional surroundings.
I cannot change what happened with me in my younger years or that I became a serious alcoholic quickly after my first drink.
Some say that they are a grateful ___________. I don't personally feel that way, I still harbor distress over what I did and will need much more time to, if ever, come to terms with it. I do appreciate my life in early sobriety and aim to improve upon it by continued abstinence and active work on my mental health and vision for being a person that I think is what I know to be good within me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
My parents hardly ever drank, and the family friends were not drinkers either. I think my grandfather was probably an alcoholic, although that word was never used. He did drink a lot.
Back in the 50s it was customary to have milk delivered by a milkman. I don't know why milk wasn't bought at the store with the bread and soup, but that's the way they did it. Leave your empty bottles on the porch, and by 10:00AM there were full bottles of milk left in their place, as if the MilkFairy had come in the night.
My grandfather who lived upstairs in a two flat apartment, had a beer man. My grandfather was the only person I ever heard of that had beer delivered. The beer guy would wheel in a hand truck of full beer cases to our basement (he even had a key to the outside entry), and he would wheel out the cases of empty beer bottles. My grandfather drank something you probably never heard of. It was called Yusay Pilson. Talk about product loyalty. He quit cold turkey after a drunk driving accident when he was in his late 70s, and never a word was spoken about his drinking again. This was on my father's side of the family, whose lineage will come to an abrupt end with the death of my sister and myself.
I knew little about alcoholism, except that it was said to be an affliction of the gutter bums who could be found lying in the streets and allies of one particular part of the intercity Chicago of my youth. So the idea that I might be an alcoholic never crossed my mind.
Oddly after I got into recovery, I found that my mother's side of the family was just loaded with alcoholics, some in recovery, and some still practicing. My mother never drank while I knew her, and if she drank before I was born, I knew nothing about it. Had I know about this darker side of my mother's family, I may not have been so reluctant to ever face the fact that I might be predisposed to alcoholism. I may have gotten off the merry-go-round sooner had I known... or maybe not. Who knows?
Back in the 50s it was customary to have milk delivered by a milkman. I don't know why milk wasn't bought at the store with the bread and soup, but that's the way they did it. Leave your empty bottles on the porch, and by 10:00AM there were full bottles of milk left in their place, as if the MilkFairy had come in the night.
My grandfather who lived upstairs in a two flat apartment, had a beer man. My grandfather was the only person I ever heard of that had beer delivered. The beer guy would wheel in a hand truck of full beer cases to our basement (he even had a key to the outside entry), and he would wheel out the cases of empty beer bottles. My grandfather drank something you probably never heard of. It was called Yusay Pilson. Talk about product loyalty. He quit cold turkey after a drunk driving accident when he was in his late 70s, and never a word was spoken about his drinking again. This was on my father's side of the family, whose lineage will come to an abrupt end with the death of my sister and myself.
I knew little about alcoholism, except that it was said to be an affliction of the gutter bums who could be found lying in the streets and allies of one particular part of the intercity Chicago of my youth. So the idea that I might be an alcoholic never crossed my mind.
Oddly after I got into recovery, I found that my mother's side of the family was just loaded with alcoholics, some in recovery, and some still practicing. My mother never drank while I knew her, and if she drank before I was born, I knew nothing about it. Had I know about this darker side of my mother's family, I may not have been so reluctant to ever face the fact that I might be predisposed to alcoholism. I may have gotten off the merry-go-round sooner had I known... or maybe not. Who knows?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
Thank you for this thought provoking thread. My father and his parents were all alcoholics, mom became one too. This is a semantics issue, but to me there is no distinction other than drug of choice between alcoholics and addicts. That is to say alcoholics are drug addicts.
I started with alcohol because it was readily available, but it could have been any drug because as an addict I'm always looking for ways to blunt my feelings. This maladaptive coping strategy was taught to me by my family. I think that growing up in an addict family of origin, and recovering from the subsequent fallout this causes, takes a colossal strength of character. We are fighting against truly engrained behaviour. I said good riddance to drinking and don't miss it whatsoever, but I still struggle with addictions to other substances (in other words I transferred addictions). I'm working on re-parenting myself to correct the mistakes made by my parents so that the cycle of abuse ends with me.
I started with alcohol because it was readily available, but it could have been any drug because as an addict I'm always looking for ways to blunt my feelings. This maladaptive coping strategy was taught to me by my family. I think that growing up in an addict family of origin, and recovering from the subsequent fallout this causes, takes a colossal strength of character. We are fighting against truly engrained behaviour. I said good riddance to drinking and don't miss it whatsoever, but I still struggle with addictions to other substances (in other words I transferred addictions). I'm working on re-parenting myself to correct the mistakes made by my parents so that the cycle of abuse ends with me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 2
Neither of my parents are alcoholics (although I think in my father’s case it may be debateable) but I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home which is why I am in ACA. There is also alcoholism in my family along compulsive gambling and a lot of different mental health issues.
I am neither an alcolholic nor a drug addict (although there has been some drug-seeking behavior in the past) but I put myself down as an addict because I definitely have an addictive personality and numb myself and “self-medicate” with other things - food (recovered from 15 years of anorexia but then started binging and comfort eating instead), tv, used to shop compulsively, also consider myself a sex and love addict and co-dependant.
I am neither an alcolholic nor a drug addict (although there has been some drug-seeking behavior in the past) but I put myself down as an addict because I definitely have an addictive personality and numb myself and “self-medicate” with other things - food (recovered from 15 years of anorexia but then started binging and comfort eating instead), tv, used to shop compulsively, also consider myself a sex and love addict and co-dependant.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Me.. Recovering
My mother drinks too much & father was/is an addict which landed him in prison for life when I was 5
Mums mother & father was alcoholic
Dads father was an addict/alcoholic
Its a family issue for sure. Hoping to break the cycle
My mother drinks too much & father was/is an addict which landed him in prison for life when I was 5
Mums mother & father was alcoholic
Dads father was an addict/alcoholic
Its a family issue for sure. Hoping to break the cycle
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I'm an alcoholic and have significant issues with separation and codependency. My dad was an alcoholic, very accomplished until the end, died of it at 69, sadly. His father was an alcoholic. My mom was not addicted to anything but her sister was alcoholic and took barbituates. So it's on both sides of the family.
When I was four we were living in Italy and my nine year old sister was killed in a commercial plane crash after my mom put her on a plane back to the states for the summer with the grandparents. Tragic incident, trauma in the family, no one did counseling or anything in those days. Mom became more religious, we moved back to the states, Dad stayed overseas, and we grew up without a dad around. Mom did the best she could, bless her heart. So did dad in his own way, always sent support money and worked until into his 60's. The patterns of childhood really seem to repeat.
When I was four we were living in Italy and my nine year old sister was killed in a commercial plane crash after my mom put her on a plane back to the states for the summer with the grandparents. Tragic incident, trauma in the family, no one did counseling or anything in those days. Mom became more religious, we moved back to the states, Dad stayed overseas, and we grew up without a dad around. Mom did the best she could, bless her heart. So did dad in his own way, always sent support money and worked until into his 60's. The patterns of childhood really seem to repeat.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
For years I would tell myself that beer is not exactly like alcohol (hard liquor). 
That is until that beer (alcohol) started treating me no different from any other alcoholic beverage.
Whether it was beer, wine, or hard liquor…It all made me sick n tired, until I got sick n tired of being sick n tired. The high and the buzz was no fun anymore 🙁
That is until that beer (alcohol) started treating me no different from any other alcoholic beverage.
Whether it was beer, wine, or hard liquor…It all made me sick n tired, until I got sick n tired of being sick n tired. The high and the buzz was no fun anymore 🙁
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