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-   Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/adult-children-addicted-alcoholic-parents/)
-   -   Am I suppose to feel this way? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/adult-children-addicted-alcoholic-parents/325292-am-i-suppose-feel-way.html)

SineadOConnor 03-09-2014 09:31 AM

Am I suppose to feel this way?
 
Just wondering. I try to keep going every day but today I awoke like I had an open wound in my gut. Yesterday, I attended a lecture regarding fear and I was the person who volunteered to have the therapist find out the fear. There were about 15 people there also. I was not afraid of the people and I wanted to know myself about my fears. I was asked to share a nightmare which has been chasing me ever since it occurred 3 months ago. I made it through the process, but I feel my inner child still frighten and scared.

AuntieSoso 03-09-2014 09:54 AM

IMHO, you feel how you feel. I think as ACAs, we've spent so much of our lives denying, hiding, stuffing our feelings, that actually feeling is a strange, well, feeling! Lately I've had a lot of tears come up. My first instinct is to stuff them and hide them and gulp and blink and do anything I can not to cry. But there is something there that needs to be heard, experienced, expressed.

It is natural to have emotions. If you are feeling scared, then you are feeling scared. Are there actions you can take to help you feel less scared?

SineadOConnor 03-09-2014 10:19 AM


Originally Posted by AuntieSoso (Post 4517434)
IMHO, you feel how you feel. I think as ACAs, we've spent so much of our lives denying, hiding, stuffing our feelings, that actually feeling is a strange, well, feeling! Lately I've had a lot of tears come up. My first instinct is to stuff them and hide them and gulp and blink and do anything I can not to cry. But there is something there that needs to be heard, experienced, expressed.

It is natural to have emotions. If you are feeling scared, then you are feeling scared. Are there actions you can take to help you feel less scared?

Thanks AuntieSoSo. Your post put a smile on my face anyway. I liked the gulp and blink because I just got off the bed doing that. Not that that is hysterical, but I can only picture myself. I am getting ready to go to the gym. I'm just putting one step in front of the other.

Kialua 03-09-2014 09:10 PM

Your questions reminds of what is normal, the number one characteristic of Adult Children of alcoholics:
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-children.html

Feelings and normal for us is just what works. And what works as a child to survive usually doesn't continue to work as we age, thus the problems. We have no framework to mature with and are stuck in childhood ways to deal. That's why counseling and reading is important to help us figure out a life map to follow.

SineadOConnor 03-10-2014 06:56 AM


Originally Posted by Kialua (Post 4518525)
Your questions reminds of what is normal, the number one characteristic of Adult Children of alcoholics:
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-children.html

Feelings and normal for us is just what works. And what works as a child to survive usually doesn't continue to work as we age, thus the problems. We have no framework to mature with and are stuck in childhood ways to deal. That's why counseling and reading is important to help us figure out a life map to follow.

I've been in counseling now for quite sometime. I'm beginning to think that its time I venture out on my own and apply the tools and principles. Yes, and read more on ACA. I truly feel, ahhh haaaa, there it is, "feel", that ACA is a fit.


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