Growth through more pain
 

A few days ago i had an appt to have my usual hair colorist color my hair. it needed it badly. But we got a snowstorm here so I couldn't travel to her (about 45 miles away - she's worth it.) instead, I impulsively decided I needed to get it done that day no matter what, so I went to another salon where I get my hair cut only (the guy who cuts it is excellent and I've gone to him for about 15 years.) I thought maybe he could do a color on me which isn't what his salon usually does for me.

I called ahead and the woman who answers the phone said to come on in, that he would give me a color. When I arrived he said he didn't want to do it, that he was nervous I wouldn't like it then I'd be "mad". He had a woman there do it instead. The bottom line is they don't stay up to date on color treatments and he knew that.

She was rude and had a terrible attitude and wouldn't let me make any decisions for my own hair. She was a know-it-all and did what she wanted anyway and it came out horribly - as in absolutely ridiculous looking.

But I did not listen to my instincts! I should have said from the get-go, "Thank you but this might not work so I think I'll wait for my regular colorist then come back here as usual for my cut."

The owner knew my hair looked awful and shooed me out Of the store. I should have said, "you know, I actually can't leave like this. What can you do to fix it?"

I called the next day and told another receptionist that I couldn't walk around like this and wondered if the owner would be able to compensate me the large sum of money I had spent on it. The colorist got on the phone and dragged me into an argument so if react. She could not admit she had made a mistake so she tried to say it was MY FAULT.

WHEN I REACTED, she played victim, saying I was ruining her day, then she hung up.

I wanted RELIEF from my pain (that I had caused by reacting instead of being mature and calm) so I called back and left the receptionist a message for her saying I was sorry if I upset or offended her work. I felt maybe this was "following spiritual principles." But really it was not honest and only secured her self-righteousness

Now she believes she is justified, no one has called me back to make this right, I am out $165 and sitting here with horrid hair, I can't go back there again and I've made an ass of myself and have left myself subject to gossip.

I did it to myself again.

I have to be spiritually fit when I go INTO a situation. I can't make impulsive decisions when I've ALREADY SEEN in the past through other disasters that few people can really handle my fine hair. I have to stop OVER-APOLOGIZING for myself thinking I'm some saint or martyr.

So I'm in all this pain today and can't go back to a place that I've gone to for years to get really good haircuts. And I'm going to have to SIT with the pain and not punish anyone or demand anything else - I have to let it go or I won't get the growth and change this.

Hope all my Adult Children are doing ok today. I love you!

Good insight. Better luck next time.

We've all had bad haircuts, although to be fair, sometimes it may just be in our heads. Ask a close friend or family member what they think.

I came home one day thinking my hair looked great, until I realized after I lost quite a few inches to have healthy, short hair - my hair looked way too similar to my younger sister's who is about the same height, and only 2 years younger. I was furious, and ended up going a bit shorter a day or two later.

Yes. The 12 steps gave me insight and awareness.
After a lifetime of people trying to tell me not to trust myself, today I know EXACTLY what I see, feel and experience.

I'm growing bigtime at this point.