Banchy

I just signed up for this website last nite because of an incident that happened on Sunday. I haven't felt that I needed any support for years now. My best friend of ten years, just got her license back after 8 years; she had 4 DWIs. She has been sober for two years now. ITs been the best two years of our friendship. THis past sunday she showed up at my son's baptism drunk, bandaged and crying. The cops dropped her off; she got into an accident, wrecked her car and got another DWI. I have stuck by her side through thick and thin. We just picked her new car out, her mom helped her buy it, she had a great job for a law firm, she just put a deposit down on an apartment in an upscale town. SHE HAD THE WORLD!!!!! Well, I got her home on sunday. MOnday comes and she acts like nothing happen..i feel she just through her life away...I'm madd, confused...once again ..i was fooled. My mother is also an alcoholic. I spent many years dealing with her. She finally moved out of state, still drinks but only comes around for special occasions like a wedding...and of course my sisters and I are experts at cleanign up her messes. My problem is that i don't have the strength to help my mother anymore and now, i dont' have the strength to help my friend. What do i do??? I wish i could help her but i have a family now...a 4 month old son. I don't want him exposed to my mother let alone my friend!!! Advice please...I haven't cried this much in years.

Gabe

Hey Banchy,
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and sorry that her recent relapse is causing you so much pain.
Hard as it is to hear, there isn't anything you to help your mother or your friend. They have to seek help themselves. If your friend put two sober years together, she knows the ropes and knows what she needs to do.
You can seek help for you and how alcoholism is affecting your life.
Coming here was a good start.
Have you thought about going to Alanon meetings?
Stick around, there are a lot of people here who understand what you're going through.
Gabe
P.S. When I saw your title "Alcoholic Magnet", I thought this post was about me. I attracts 'em like flies I tells ya. :veryhappy

journeygal

Hi Banchy,

Boy do I know what you're going through! Just like you I realized that I don't have the strength to go through this again (my addict husband who's been mostly clean for two years just relapsed). We can't clean up their messes or their lives. They have to figure out how to do it for themselves. I told Jack as long as he's fighting to stay clean I'll support him but I can't go through the chaos anymore. It's all about figuring out what we're willing to put up with, setting boundaries, and sticking to them.

I'm glad you found us. Be sure to check out the alanon forum while you're here.

Take care,
JG

Banchy

I'm so happy I found this site. Just reading through the forums is so helpful. I can't believe how much I relate. Its nice to know you all understand.

I have never been to an Alanon meeting but i have been to AA meetings.