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Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: fresno, ca
Posts: 17
My father was an abusive alcoholic. When I was young I hated my mom for not leaving him. I hated her for not protecting us from his abuse. I thought she was weak, I lost respect for her. When I got older I realized she did the best she could, she had three small children and was financially dependent on him. As we got older she went to college, became a nurse and told him to leave. It wasn"t until then that he changed. It took my sister shooting herself, for my mom to wake up. Both my older brother and I have tried to commit suicide, we all became addicts. My father died at 48, and even though he was no longer around to physically and verbally abuse us, the damage still countinues. When you are told long enough and often enough that your worthless, you eventually internalize it. It took me a long time to realize that the words I heard in my head, your stupid, your worthless, you can't do anything right were not true. I became my own abuser.
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 1
Good question!
I am a 30 year old Adult Child of an Alcoholic father. I love both of my parents, but to this day, I hate them together. My father's sickness had a huge impact on my family. My mother constantly said she would leave IF it wasn't for my brothers and I. Being the youngest, I tried to confirm to her that anything was better than what we were in the middle of. There were always "ifs". She stated she would leave once I was out of the house. At 17, I moved out. She didn't leave. Then she said when I went to college, she would leave. She didn't. They are still together, but both are miserable. I almost wish they had seperated a long time ago. I don't know how that would have effected my life either. There are definitely questions.
If my mother had left with the children, would my father finally have gotten help. Would I still have a relationship with my father or would I have taken my mother's side? These are just a couple of questions in my head.
You do have a tough decision to make. There are many pros and cons. I'll be thinking of you as you make your decision.
If my mother had left with the children, would my father finally have gotten help. Would I still have a relationship with my father or would I have taken my mother's side? These are just a couple of questions in my head.
You do have a tough decision to make. There are many pros and cons. I'll be thinking of you as you make your decision.
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