hurtindaughter

Hello,
I have a father who is an alocholic. I convinced him to enter Rehab last year and he did wonderful for about 5 months afterwards. He started drinking again and is going downhill since. The problem is he is the nicest man ive ever met. he is very wealthy and when he drinks he gives things to people. he couldnt be nicer, he just gets fall down drunk and says dumb things and blacks out, and he cant stop. he was drinking bottles of vodka all day and night before he went into rehab. im so sad that hes drinking again but i cannot hate him. the problem is that ih ave two kids. this wekeend he asked to take them to his cabin, adn i unfortunately had to say no to him as i refuse to put my children in that danger zone, even though there is his wife to watch them. he is very hurt and if eel awful. i dont know what to do. How do i deal with this? and what do i do about the kids and him wanting to take them. i dont want to say no because he drinks (hes defensive about it) but i refuse to put them in harms way. i need advice and help!!!!

Kialua

Hi. You are so right to not let the kids go with him. I never once let mine go with my parents. Just say no, you don't even need to explain if you don't want to.

kittycat3

It's hard but stick to your guns and be straightforward and definite. Kids safety is #1. Don't expect him to appreciate it, but just change the subject or end the call if you have to. He will eventually move on.

NWGRITS

Agreed. Just say no. Your kids' lives are more important than anything else. I nearly lost my kids to CPS because my mother got trashed while she was home alone with them. Never again. I went No Contact with her last June. If she can get a year of sobriety under her belt, they can talk on the phone. She has yet to hit her bottom and enter real recovery, and I'm pretty sure my kids will never talk to her again before she dies.

You can't force your father into rehab. He has to make that choice for himself. White knuckling will only last so long before the A lets go and starts drinking again. He has to choose sobriety and work a program. There's nothing you can do to stop him from drinking. Work on protecting yourself and your children. Do you attend Al-Anon?