Gracie1953

I have spent most of my life in isolation, always on the outside looking in. While I am not shy, I don't like people much, and I never talk to other people unless they talk to me first. I have no contact with family, never did. We do not live near each other. I'd have to fly.

I would like to break out of this isolation, but am not quite sure how. I did join the ladies golf league this year, but I choose not to get too close to anyone. Something I inherited from my mother.

I actually became friends with a man I met through golf. We played several times, had lunch, etc. But he wanted to go farther than friendship, and I wasn't ready to do that, so I cut that short too. I was also afraid that I would use him as an excuse to leave the A I was seeing at the time. I definately did not want to do that.

So, here I am. I want to break the pattern and yet not break the pattern.
While I am not lonely, sometimes I think that I don't know how not to be alone. Anyone else deal with this problem?

Thanks,

Gracie

razor

Wow Gracie, if you figure this one out, let me know. I thought I was special cuz I isolate myself like that. I am known to lay across my bed and stare at the carpet for hours, cuz its better than trying to make contact with strangers. I am also alone in a crowd of friends. I have a job which forces me to be in public, often in front of large crowds. I must interact with them, and yet I find that draining, and I want to be alone, except that when I am alone, all I do is dream about being with someone and sharing time. What a confusing situation. -

Magichappens

((Gracie))
I got desperate enough to finally start going to Alanon. Not just for the program (which I am working through) but for the support. I have to make a conscious effort to call people from the meeting. I guess I was just ready. I pray about these things and ask for the courage and perserverance to continue my recovery. So far it has been working. I know that without prayer I couldn't do it at all. I have just recently started praying, because I have never felt God's presence. I feel like some of my prayers for recovery have been answered. This helps me believe that there is something there. That helps with my loneliness too. These things that seem to come naturally to some people are things that I have to work at, but I think now that the work is worth it. Hugs, Magic

care bear

Gracie,
I to am going threw this very thing.I find it so hard to talk to anyone and also feel so isolated.I have a neighbor that I have lived next to for 4 years and just now am starting to talk to her.My children are all in sports and it seems that all the parents talk to eachother but me.I hate this.I am finding no easy answer for myself,and I really don't know why I am like this,but I am going to take one step at a time.I am going to force myself to get to a meeting this week and I thought I would force myself to talk to strangers when they walked bye.Just say hi I guess.I figure if I think of little things to do all the time I would sooner or later come out of my shell.