My father relapsed today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 6
My father relapsed today
I dont know where to begin, but Ill try to include everything..
I live at home currently, with my mother and father while I attend school.
My dad is in his 50's and has been drinking for over 15 years
Back in February he stopped paying the rent, which resulted in me, him, and mother all having to move after being evicted in early June..
During the middle of May he checked into rehab, and went through detox, as well as going to meetings as part of his outpatient program..
As of today I noticed he was talking like he did when he use to drink and knew he mustve started again..
So me and my mother went into the garage where he was earlier and after some searching found a cold, 1/2 can of beer hidden in a box...
Idk what to do from here...
Everything was going great until this
Now the stress, and money problems will begin again
Any advice on what to do when something like this happens..
I feel like if him being evicted and having to go through detox/treatment didnt get him to quit then nothing will
I live at home currently, with my mother and father while I attend school.
My dad is in his 50's and has been drinking for over 15 years
Back in February he stopped paying the rent, which resulted in me, him, and mother all having to move after being evicted in early June..
During the middle of May he checked into rehab, and went through detox, as well as going to meetings as part of his outpatient program..
As of today I noticed he was talking like he did when he use to drink and knew he mustve started again..
So me and my mother went into the garage where he was earlier and after some searching found a cold, 1/2 can of beer hidden in a box...
Idk what to do from here...
Everything was going great until this
Now the stress, and money problems will begin again
Any advice on what to do when something like this happens..
I feel like if him being evicted and having to go through detox/treatment didnt get him to quit then nothing will
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Jordan,
I just wanted to welcome you.
Glad you found us.
You will get a lot of great insight reading here.
Try also the Friends and Family forum as it has more "traffic".
They have seen and heard it all.
Just want to say, not everybody gets it first go.
Don't panic.
Deep breaths.
Have you thought of going to AlAnon?
Take care of you.
I hope your dad realizes he has too much to loose by drinking.
Again, not everybody gets it first time round.
A lot of people relapse after inpatient rehab and go on to find lasting sobriety.
Tell him to hit a few AA meetings. Hopefully he will.
I just wanted to welcome you.
Glad you found us.
You will get a lot of great insight reading here.
Try also the Friends and Family forum as it has more "traffic".
They have seen and heard it all.
Just want to say, not everybody gets it first go.
Don't panic.
Deep breaths.
Have you thought of going to AlAnon?
Take care of you.
I hope your dad realizes he has too much to loose by drinking.
Again, not everybody gets it first time round.
A lot of people relapse after inpatient rehab and go on to find lasting sobriety.
Tell him to hit a few AA meetings. Hopefully he will.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 179
Take care of yourself. Relapse does happen, even in "successful" (eventually) recoveries. Some people bounce off the bottom a few times.
If he hasn't hit his bottom, that's a different problem. You and your mother should be talking about what you do to protect yourselves. If he want's to drink his way to being homeless, don't let him take the family with him.
If he hasn't hit his bottom, that's a different problem. You and your mother should be talking about what you do to protect yourselves. If he want's to drink his way to being homeless, don't let him take the family with him.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Welcome. My alcoholic dad never paid rent my entire life till I was about 16 and we moved about as many times. I know what that's like.
You didn't say how old you are, my advice is to leave home if you can. I know it might be hard and you might worry about your mother being alone but you have to take care of yourself first before you can help anyone else like your mother. Your Mom has chosen this lifestyle but you didn't. Can you even focus on school living in the craziness that comes with our alcoholic fathers behaviors.
Read through our stickies above and see if you find anything helpful, I'm sure you will. Getting help for yourself first is vital, we liken it to being in a plane crash, putting on your oxygen mask first then helping others if you can.
You didn't say how old you are, my advice is to leave home if you can. I know it might be hard and you might worry about your mother being alone but you have to take care of yourself first before you can help anyone else like your mother. Your Mom has chosen this lifestyle but you didn't. Can you even focus on school living in the craziness that comes with our alcoholic fathers behaviors.
Read through our stickies above and see if you find anything helpful, I'm sure you will. Getting help for yourself first is vital, we liken it to being in a plane crash, putting on your oxygen mask first then helping others if you can.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Kialua 
Welcome. My alcoholic dad never paid rent my entire life till I was about 16 and we moved about as many times. I know what that's like.
You didn't say how old you are, my advice is to leave home if you can. I know it might be hard and you might worry about your mother being alone but you have to take care of yourself first before you can help anyone else like your mother. Your Mom has chosen this lifestyle but you didn't. Can you even focus on school living in the craziness that comes with our alcoholic fathers behaviors.
Read through our stickies above and see if you find anything helpful, I'm sure you will. Getting help for yourself first is vital, we liken it to being in a plane crash, putting on your oxygen mask first then helping others if you can.
You didn't say how old you are, my advice is to leave home if you can. I know it might be hard and you might worry about your mother being alone but you have to take care of yourself first before you can help anyone else like your mother. Your Mom has chosen this lifestyle but you didn't. Can you even focus on school living in the craziness that comes with our alcoholic fathers behaviors.
Read through our stickies above and see if you find anything helpful, I'm sure you will. Getting help for yourself first is vital, we liken it to being in a plane crash, putting on your oxygen mask first then helping others if you can.
He told her it's none of her business if he drinks again and was bitching non-stop.. When he drinks he's the type to blame everyone for past failures, and will constantly bitch and complain about everything until he falls asleep...
as for having a plan--there really isnt one... I mean my mom works a full time job that shes been at for over 10 years, but I know it doesnt pay enough for her to afford her own place-- I also dont think she would ever do that honestly
Theres hardly any family for her or me to go to, except my fathers sister who was the one that gave us the money for the new place when he quit drinking back in May..
The problem with that though is that she stays almost about 45 mins away, and thats not possible when my job is out here and school-- 45 doesnt sound like a huge amount of time , but when you work part time shifts (4hrs) a day , itll be crazy to drive 90mins a day for that..
so yeah idk what we're going to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Mracoa
So, living with the crazy is better than a long commute or finding a new job?
You have to choose, then make the best of your choice. You are old enough to have control of your own choices.
You have to choose, then make the best of your choice. You are old enough to have control of your own choices.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midland, MI
Posts: 24
First, I am sorry you are going through this. I am 25, and I know what it's like to have that hope that this time they will stay clean, that this time will be different. Everyone's circumstances are different, but one thing I think that stays consistent is that an addict is an addict. They may be clean and sober for twenty years, but they are still an addict. They need to help themselves, just like you are going to have to help yourself in this situation. You need to realize that by staying, the only thing you are doing is making yourself more miserable. You aren't in charge of your father's sobriety, nor is it your responsibility to help your mother. I know it sounds selfish, but you need to worry about you. Your parents are grown adults, and if your mother really wants out, she will leave. If she has had the same good job for that long, I am sure she could manage on her own.
Find a cheap apartment. If you search for rooms to rent near the college you can find one dirt cheap. Also, check in with the college because some have work-to-rent options where you rent a dorm from them and work it off on campus.
I really hope things work out for you and your family. Good luck!
Find a cheap apartment. If you search for rooms to rent near the college you can find one dirt cheap. Also, check in with the college because some have work-to-rent options where you rent a dorm from them and work it off on campus.
I really hope things work out for you and your family. Good luck!
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