Starting ACOA Meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Starting ACOA Meeting
Found out today that there are no ACOA meetings in this city. Closest one is an hour away. This is a university town with tons of AA meetings and other self-help groups. I'm very surprised there's no ACOA meeting here! Anyway, I've been on the adultchildren.org site looking at the Store on there, at the new meeting packet for $9. Wondering if I should buy it and try to start a new meeting. I'm going Monday to my continuing care group meeting, so I'll run it by my counselor. She's an ACOA so I'm sure she'll have something to say about it. If I do start a meeting, I'll bet the rehab center will be able to advertise if on their meeting list.
I'm wondering if I need to travel to that out of town f2f to at least participate a few times in an actual meeting before doing this? What do you all think? I've been going to online meetings, but not for very long.
I'm wondering if I need to travel to that out of town f2f to at least participate a few times in an actual meeting before doing this? What do you all think? I've been going to online meetings, but not for very long.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: it's complicated
Posts: 99
I used to commute that distance for an ACA meeting and it was well worth it for me to get a feel for what adult children are like (compared to say Alanons more generally). I couldn't get there every week, but I went as much as I could. The experience of fitting so perfectly in a group was very precious for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Back East
Posts: 704
I don't think you necessarily need to go to the out-of-town meeting, but the ACA meetings in my city both use the red book, and read several pages from it every week. That's probably a good idea, to keep the focus on ACA issues. There's another meeting a few towns away, and I've been a few times, but it's run more like an Al-Anon meeting, and as a result, I don't find it as useful -- I can just go to an Al-Anon meeting for that!
Good luck!
T
Good luck!
T
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 171
My nearest ACA meeting is three hours away. I go a few times of the year. I am not a beginner, having had 30 years in Alanon. I am looking out for another member in my community- still looking.
On another tack- ACA proper stopped running an on-line forum- there are now at least two online forums which may well constitute a group. I think they work better away from the mother-ship.
Its early days- one day at a time- but I think the future for ACA looks bright.
Jenny- yes! The groups don't just exist out there for "us". They are made up of us. They need to be set up and run for and by ~us~.
I really admire your initiative...
David.
On another tack- ACA proper stopped running an on-line forum- there are now at least two online forums which may well constitute a group. I think they work better away from the mother-ship.
Its early days- one day at a time- but I think the future for ACA looks bright.
Jenny- yes! The groups don't just exist out there for "us". They are made up of us. They need to be set up and run for and by ~us~.
I really admire your initiative...
David.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by DavidG 
Jenny- yes! The groups don't just exist out there for "us". They are made up of us. They need to be set up and run for and by ~us~.
I really admire your initiative...
David.
I really admire your initiative...
David.
Well, we'll see what happens with it all. I would like to attend at least one f2f before starting one. And I agree with you, someone has to start them! Lol. So, if there isn't one here, why not me? Right? Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello SoberJennie, and welcome to our little corner of recovery
Starting a meeting is a great idea, here's a few tips for you to consider.
It works best if a meeting starts with a few peeps who already have a solid background in the "infrastructure" of a program. Such as why the traditions are important, why anonymity is the foundation of the traditions, why business meetings are important. These little bits of wisdom is what keeps a meeting _growing_, and eventually expanding into more meetings.
In order to get such peeps involved in a new meet it helps if they don't have to show up regular. Reason being that these kinds of peeps generally have a busy life with other fellowships, sponsees, etc.
The easieset way, based on the above, is to have the new meeting once a month, and to make it a potluck at somebody's house. Later on it can graduate to twice a month at a church, and so on. I have started many, many meetings this way, and even a whole new program. It makes it a lot easier.
Finding these first few people can be done by visiting various different meetings of _other_ programs. Al-anon is usually the strongest in ACoA issues, and as others have mentioned they will sometimes have special purpose meetings on the subject. Al-ateen is also good, those kids grow up, doncha know, and need someplace to go when they are no longer teens.
One of the biggest hurdles for ACoA, and the other "non-medical" programs, comes at around year three. There will be about a dozen solid meetings in a population of about 1 million people, going strong, lots of additional felowship like weekend retreats, social events, community outreach, etc. All of a sudden, the meetings start dying out, and in about a years time the entire program just _disapears_. Gone. Not a single meeting left in town when once there was a thriving community.
Happens about every 3 years, on average. Then some new person pops up with a lot of energy and the cycle starts all over again.
The reason is a bit odd, but it makes sense once you work it out. People get _well_. And when they get well they get their life back and stop going to meetings. Until the next batch of newcomers turn up.
It's a _huge_ amount of work, SoberJennie, starting up a new program out of nothing. And it's a lot of heartbreak too when solid members get transfered to work in another town, or leave for whatever reason, and you find yourself all alone again running a meeting where nobody shows up for month after month. It's worth it, big time, when you've spent several years baby sitting meetings and watching it grow and then one day you see that newcomer that used to be so lost is now reaching out to _other_ newcomers.
One way to keep your "inspiration" fired up is to go look up Claudia Blacks website, and see if you can attend one of her lectures. That woman is a powerhouse and she will fire you up with energy and drive to get your own meetings going.
Welcome again, I'm glad you decided to join us.
Mike
Starting a meeting is a great idea, here's a few tips for you to consider.
It works best if a meeting starts with a few peeps who already have a solid background in the "infrastructure" of a program. Such as why the traditions are important, why anonymity is the foundation of the traditions, why business meetings are important. These little bits of wisdom is what keeps a meeting _growing_, and eventually expanding into more meetings.
In order to get such peeps involved in a new meet it helps if they don't have to show up regular. Reason being that these kinds of peeps generally have a busy life with other fellowships, sponsees, etc.
The easieset way, based on the above, is to have the new meeting once a month, and to make it a potluck at somebody's house. Later on it can graduate to twice a month at a church, and so on. I have started many, many meetings this way, and even a whole new program. It makes it a lot easier.
Finding these first few people can be done by visiting various different meetings of _other_ programs. Al-anon is usually the strongest in ACoA issues, and as others have mentioned they will sometimes have special purpose meetings on the subject. Al-ateen is also good, those kids grow up, doncha know, and need someplace to go when they are no longer teens.
One of the biggest hurdles for ACoA, and the other "non-medical" programs, comes at around year three. There will be about a dozen solid meetings in a population of about 1 million people, going strong, lots of additional felowship like weekend retreats, social events, community outreach, etc. All of a sudden, the meetings start dying out, and in about a years time the entire program just _disapears_. Gone. Not a single meeting left in town when once there was a thriving community.
Happens about every 3 years, on average. Then some new person pops up with a lot of energy and the cycle starts all over again.
The reason is a bit odd, but it makes sense once you work it out. People get _well_. And when they get well they get their life back and stop going to meetings. Until the next batch of newcomers turn up.
It's a _huge_ amount of work, SoberJennie, starting up a new program out of nothing. And it's a lot of heartbreak too when solid members get transfered to work in another town, or leave for whatever reason, and you find yourself all alone again running a meeting where nobody shows up for month after month. It's worth it, big time, when you've spent several years baby sitting meetings and watching it grow and then one day you see that newcomer that used to be so lost is now reaching out to _other_ newcomers.
One way to keep your "inspiration" fired up is to go look up Claudia Blacks website, and see if you can attend one of her lectures. That woman is a powerhouse and she will fire you up with energy and drive to get your own meetings going.
Welcome again, I'm glad you decided to join us.
Mike
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