They didn't care!

Old 05-07-2013, 06:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I experienced the same thing. Alcoholic dad, codie mom. They were sick individuals who had NO tools. So they passed on their lack-of-tool-ness on to us kids.

I had anger and resentment for a long time. I felt abandoned and wanted them to see what they had done and ask forgiveness and give me the love I craved.

It is only through my program that I was able to process my anger, fear, and hurt, and forgive my parents. And realize that were are sick, not bad. I released expectations of them that they will NEVER live up to.

On a good note, my dad is sober in AA now and my mom has worked the steps in AlAnon. We have done a lot of mending/building of our relationships. I am just now really getting to know them.

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Old 05-07-2013, 09:45 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,001
Thankyou for your posts.

I do not feel anger at all just incredulity really. And some sadness....quite a lot of that.

I feel pity for them in some ways because they will never experience the joys of their children like I do mine.

And I am not judging the alcoholism because I'm in no place to do that. But the violence and mental torture was something I just don't get, and maybe I never will.
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