mfanch

I experienced the same thing. Alcoholic dad, codie mom. They were sick individuals who had NO tools. So they passed on their lack-of-tool-ness on to us kids.

I had anger and resentment for a long time. I felt abandoned and wanted them to see what they had done and ask forgiveness and give me the love I craved.

It is only through my program that I was able to process my anger, fear, and hurt, and forgive my parents. And realize that were are sick, not bad. I released expectations of them that they will NEVER live up to.

On a good note, my dad is sober in AA now and my mom has worked the steps in AlAnon. We have done a lot of mending/building of our relationships. I am just now really getting to know them.

Jeni26

Thankyou for your posts.

I do not feel anger at all just incredulity really. And some sadness....quite a lot of that.

I feel pity for them in some ways because they will never experience the joys of their children like I do mine.

And I am not judging the alcoholism because I'm in no place to do that. But the violence and mental torture was something I just don't get, and maybe I never will.