Compassion
 

As I have said, my mother was an alcoholic, my home with my father was chaotic and abusive.

My sister has been an addict of one thing or another since she was a teen, now over 40.

If I look at my ACOA behaviours and want to understand and heal them, then should I not be more compassionate about my sister's alcoholism since that is her ACOA behaviour?

I wouldn’t use compassionate myself, understanding yes but not really compassionate. As much as I love my sister and wanted to help her, I had to walk away for 3 years. No calls, no visits, nothing until someone told me she had been clean and sober for a year. Then I visited her and have limited contact with her today. I can be understanding, no problem. Compassionate sounds like I want to be taken advantage of, it’s not in my dictionary of everyday useable words.

Yeah, Chris, that is the exact panic that goes through me when I think of being more "compassionate" with her - being taken advantage of.