Payne

Today is my first event where I have to see my AM since Easter. and starting yesterday afternoon I can't seem to remember ANYTHING she's done in the past year that brought me to a place of walking away. Now I feel like I'm in full panic mod with my head screaming "what if what she did wasn't so bad, I mean hwoe bad could it be you don't even remember much. Maybe you're just being a spoiled brat, all youre gonna do is hurt her and the family for no reason, ya ya that's it, its you you and your expectations of what a family should be, every family has issues what makes you think yours is worse...." And so on.

tromboneliness

Use the... what is it called... "Find more posts by Payne" feature -- going over the stuff you put up at the time will probably jog your memory, so you'll realize that it WAS so bad!

T

Kialua

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That will help.

And maybe you don't remember it so much because you have come so far in detaching emotionally. It doesn't have the dagger in the heart like it used to. I would view that has much progress and healing. But don't be fooled, be alert, though polite.

Payne

I went, I was polite, but stayed detached about an hour before I went I realized that she plays a game of making people believe shes a good mother and because she lost power over me she turned it on me. And I refuse to be a victim of her games. It wasn't easy but I reached pout t my support system a few times during the day and was rewarded with some fantastic auntie niece time, and aq night out with my siter in laws and a bunch of our friends, which I'm just heading out for now. Thanks trombonliness I actually did just that after I wrote this and Kailua that's an awesome perspective I hadn't thought of, thank you. I may have been unlucky with my parents but I've been so lucky elsewhere and I certainly include you guys.