Synfull Vyxun

Last night A mother was wasted, I went down to the toilet and could hear her slurring in the beer garden, with our cook, his partner and the guy mother had an affair with.
I went to the back door to listen to her, as she sounds funny when she slurs, turns out she fell over again and banged her head, (after fracturing her skull a couple of weeks ago while drunk,) but still wanted to carry on drinking, as usual. When the cook and partner went to get more drinks from the bar, mother said she will pay, if they bring her a pint of cider, she was hugging the the man she had the affair with, and he was saying how he was not impressed with mother getting a new bloke, and she could have at least told him, not just start hugging and kissing the new bloke in front of him, they have been seeing each other even when mother got the new guy!!!!!
So I left her to it and went back upstairs to my movie and knitting. (god I sound like an old woman, hate being this sick)
So about 9.30pm my dad phoned me, I told him she had fallen over again, and while I was on the phone I heard her stagger up to bed, so knew she was ok, well hopefully.
At 7.30am this morning she was shouting me, trying to wake me up, so I could go open the front door to her ex husband to let her dog in. All because she has a new bloke n ex is not happy about it, Nothing to do with me!!!!!
I ignored her completely, I don't sleep well at the minute but she doesn't know this.
Then an hour later she was shouting me again, because she has lost her phone, and needs it to do wages, so I had to get up out of bed and go check cctv with her. We looked everywhere, still can't find it.
She is so hungover and just came asking if I had a spare phone, but she is just expecting sympathy, saying she is having the worst day ever, blah blah blah.....guilt trip, guilt trip.........
My dad keeps telling me to be nice to her and go out for coffee with her, which I definitely don't want to do. Haven't heard from my aunty yet, who is lending me money to get a flight home. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! !!!!!

Got an appointment with a counselor tomorrow, hopefully they can help me a little. fingers crossed. so scared though, I hate talking about this rubbish face to face. That's why I love this site.

Mracoa

Are you sure you Mom hasn't caught wind of your Aunt's offer for help? If she has, she might try to sabotage it like she did your counselor appointments. Keep your guard up.

I agree, talking to counselors is draining. They have a way of drawing more and more out of you. Things you really don't want to think about it, much less talk about. But, it's good to get it out. The more you understand why you are feeling the things you feel, the better equiped you are to deal with your life and control the way you react to what's going on around you.

Synfull Vyxun

no she definitely doesn't know, I have not told anyone and neither has my aunty. I have no one I can really trust in my life, other than my aunty, and the same with her, our family disowned me years ago, and her a couple of moths ago, everything I say to anyone else goes straight back to mother, who of course, denies it all, and says it's me making things up.
Even my dad believes the rubbish coming out of her mouth.
I really don't want to talk to anyone, I think she should, but when she has in the past, they tell her to cut down drinking, she never goes back, saying they didn't know what they are talking about.
I know I have issues, but really don't want to talk face to face about all this, the good thing is, the counselor is from out of town, so fingers crossed all will be fine.

EveningRose

(((renegayd)))

My thoughts and prayers are with you.