DefofLov

Hi, my name is Lily. I am a grateful member of Al-Anon and an Adult Child. Both of my parents are alcoholics. I started taking my recovery a lot more seriously this year. I started attending Al-Anon meetings in June 2012. I have a sponsor and I believe in the 12 steps to recovery. I want to share this piece with you all. I wrote it this morning. It is something I needed to tell myself.

Have Compassion, Be Kind

Have compassion for the 9 month old girl whose father left,

Be kind to this same girl who didn't meet him until she was 19 years old,

Have compassion for the 6 year old girl who waited up for her mom,

Be kind to her because her mom never tucked her in,

Have compassion for the 10 year old girl who was kicked out of her home,

Be kind to her because she was forced to live in a hostile environment with people who didn't want her,

Have compassion for the 17 year old girl who had to find her own way to college,

Be kind to her because she was all on her own in a place where she knew no one,

Have compassion for the 22 year old girl who moved an emotionally cold man into her home,

Be kind to her because she felt the need to try to save him because she didn't know how to save herself,

Have compassion for the 28 year old who still has a long way to go in recovery,

Be kind to her because she already came so far.

~~~~~~~~~

I need to have compassion for myself for some of the things I have gone through. I need to be kind to myself because that should be a default setting. Having compassion and being kind to oneself is something I have really needed to learn to do. And I have a lot of unhealthy thinking to undo. I have come a long way, but I have a longer way to go.

As I go on my way, I will be gentle, kind, and compassionate towards myself because I deserve it. I deserve to treat myself like a delicate flower as I continue through my recovery.

Thank you for listening to me.

Lily

Impurrfect

Good stuff ((Lily))! The best part is that you went through so many tough times, you are taking care of you and not only surviving, but thriving!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

kthopkt

I personally have a hard time with this. I don't feel I should have compassion for myself because it makes me feel weak; makes me feel sorry for myself which I don't want to do.

How did you get to this point? How can you feel compassion without feeling weak?

Freedom1990

That was beautiful, DefofLove!

Kthopkt, I worked hard on my recovery in the rooms of 12-step programs. Alanon was a huge help in learning to treat myself well.

Compassion is not weakness. IMO it is a spiritually inspired trait. I've learned to parent that scared little girl inside of me when she comes out. I treat her as I wanted to be treated in my childhood. It's a far cry from pity or feeling sorry for myself.

Am I making any sense?

Sending hugs of support.

Windancer

Lovely. Compassion and kindness and gratitude are very important things in life I think. I try to make them part of my life every day. Great post.

DavidG

I find that kindness and compassion works for people who are worth it.

LoveMeNow

((((lily)))) Thank you for sharing. What a great piece and post!

May God guide you through the process of healing and recovery!!