Rewind
Supply Manager
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Rewind
Has anyone else looked at the events in their life backwards? When I do that I can pinpoint the event that set all my bad behavior in motion.
For me it was my dad's escalating alcoholism, my parents separation and divorce followed by each of them getting remarried. I went straight to drugs and alcohol, leaving home and into my first alcoholic marrage.
If I am honest and go back further I was a codie-in-waiting long before that. But that is event that rocked my world and began a long period of reacting my way through life.
It humbled me to look back and feel like my life had been out of my hands. Today I look back and it saddens me because all along my life WAS in my hands. I just didn't know it yet.
Hugs,
JT
For me it was my dad's escalating alcoholism, my parents separation and divorce followed by each of them getting remarried. I went straight to drugs and alcohol, leaving home and into my first alcoholic marrage.
If I am honest and go back further I was a codie-in-waiting long before that. But that is event that rocked my world and began a long period of reacting my way through life.
It humbled me to look back and feel like my life had been out of my hands. Today I look back and it saddens me because all along my life WAS in my hands. I just didn't know it yet.
Hugs,
JT
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Luckily, my life did not spin out of control at any point in time. I was extremely obedient and did everything I had to do to get where I am now. Initially, I alwayz did the right thing because I was hoping that if I did everything right, my mother and her family would become nurturing and supportive all of a sudden. Well it never happened and I am no longer striving to make them happy. I am trying to make myself happy.
I can say that I had some painful relationships with folkz outside of the family. People sure can be abusive when you wear your heart on your sleeves. However, I ended all friendshipz that were harmful to me.
If it was not for resilience, I do not know where I would. God has really smiled down on me. I am so blessed.
~Def
I can say that I had some painful relationships with folkz outside of the family. People sure can be abusive when you wear your heart on your sleeves. However, I ended all friendshipz that were harmful to me.
If it was not for resilience, I do not know where I would. God has really smiled down on me. I am so blessed.
~Def
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Re: Rewind
I have realized that I based my life on lies taught to me by well meaning but nutty people. Going back to where it started was essential to finding where my behavior came from and what needs I was trying to get met at the time. I have repeated those behaviors throughout my adult life. I have recreated my family dynamic in many relationships. It is amazing to me that I never put it together til recently. I guess I wasn't supposed to see it until I saw it. I believe it is all part of the plan, the journey that I am on. Hugs, Magic
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Re: Rewind
"Well meaning but nutty people"
Oh yeah Magic, I have a lot of those kind of folks around me too.
When I rewind, I realize that when I think negatively, negative things happen. When I think positively, positive things happen. It's that simple.
Oh yeah Magic, I have a lot of those kind of folks around me too.
When I rewind, I realize that when I think negatively, negative things happen. When I think positively, positive things happen. It's that simple.
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