dbh

I just found a song that I was thinking about for awhile. I remember hearing Michael Jackson sing it and after poking around on iTunes a bit it ended up to be a song originally from the musical "The Wiz". The song is "Home" and the lyrics are below.

I looked up the lyrics and was listening to it and out of nowhere I started crying! I'm still amazed at how deep the hurt can be sometimes. Years of therapy and recovery and I still have this sad little girl inside that just wants to have a loving family of origin. My parents divorced when I was 15 and I just turned 50! Thirty-five years later and it can still hurt!??!

I'm happy with the life I've created (in spite of my past) and I'm lucky to have an immediate family (husband and two kids) who I think the world of and who I know love me.

Wonder if I'll ever not feel sad sometimes about the family I didn't get?

Every once in awhile, you'll read a post by someone married to an alcoholic who is wondering if it's going to affect their children. While I know recovery and serenity is possible, I think it changes you forever in ways that you can't describe.

Anyway, wanted to share the lyrics with the group. I hope that everyone can create the "Home" that they always wanted.

Fondly,

db

Wiz Lyrics
Home (Finale) Lyrics

When I think of Home
I think of place
Where there's love overflowing.
I wish I was home
I wish I was back there
With the things I've been knowing.
Wind that makes the tall trees
Bend into leaning
Suddenly, the raindrops that fall
Have a meaning
Sprinklin the scene
Makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance
For me to go back
Now that I have some direction
It sure would be nice
To be back home
Where there's love and affection
And just maybe I
Can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time
In my life to grow up
Time, be my friend, let me start again.

Suddenly, my world's gone
And changed It's face
But I still know where I'm going
I have had my mind spun around in space And yet, I've watched it growing
And if you're listening God, please, Don't make it hard
To know if we should believe the things That we see
Tell us, should we try to stay,
should we run away, or would it be Better just to let things be?

Living here in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy,
But its taught me to love
So it real, real, real to me
And I've learned
That we must look inside our hearts
To find
A world full of love
Like yours, Like mine
Like Home

DesertEyes

What a lovely song, thank you for sharing it with us

Yup, sometimes I feel exactly the way you described.

Most of the time I don't think about my childhood at all. Once in a while something will trigger me, exactly like you describe with that song. For me, the pain gets smaller as I continue in my recovery, and the triggers happen less often. I don't have a problem with feeling sad every now and then, if I did _not_ feel sad for what was done to me I think there would be something _wrong_ with me. Feeling sad shows that I am not in denial, that I have compassion for that little kid who was so terribly hurt.

Yes, I agree.

What a lovely wish I have created my own life and my own home, and it's turned out so much better than I ever imagined.

Mike

dbh

Hi Mike:

Thank you for your kind response. Just wanted to let you know how much I value your contributions to this group.

Don't know how long you have been working on your recovery, but when I read your responses I often think "I want what he has."

Thanks for giving me hope and keeping me on track with my own recovery.

db

DesertEyes

Goodness, what lovely compliments! Thank you so much for that, you made my day

Mike