ever sent a txt to the A instead of venting to another??

Old 10-05-2012, 04:46 AM
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ever sent a txt to the A instead of venting to another??

well thats exactly what I did this morning, I am sick with labrynthitis and a cold, and my A mother asked me to do something for her later, which involves me feeling very very bad, sickwise, all because she has a bad hangover, so as I was venting and sent a message to my dad, it went straight to said A mother, who came upstairs shouting at me that I need to see a psychiatrist because she was not drinkin till 8am, even though she was, grrrrrrrrr. So much denial............ So I am off to see the doctor today and ask if they think I need it, I know I need to talk to someone about all this shyte, but me admitting that I have lost the plot will not help the situation while I am still living here, they can give me anti depressants and the like, but I still have to put up with her guilt trips and rubbish daily. I am sick and not working so cant move out. I am however thinking of asking to stay at a friends house tonight. fingers crossed. am I really going mental??
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by renegayd View Post
am I really going mental??

I don't really know you, and I'm not a health care professional. So, by no means take the following as any kind of clinical diagnoisis. Just an observation...


Hell no you are not mental. are you kidding me? The only thing you did was shatter your A mothers ablity to hide her drinking problem. She found out you are talking to your Dad about her problem. She wants to shut you down. How does she do that? By manipulation, the A's favorite tool.

Let her rage all she wants. Don't bother trying to fight her with reason or logic, it only causes pain which they in turn take out on you for pointing it out. Detach as much as you can and try to deal with your own situation as best you can. Do what you need to do for you to get healthy. Once healthy, start working. Earn some coin and get out. Much easier to deal with your A parent from a distance, when you don't have to depend on anyone but yourself.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:45 AM
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The stress of living with you Mom is probably leading you to get sick. Work on getting well as soon as you can and get out of there. You are 27 and don't need this drama anymore. Go back home to your country or to your Dad's? Let her figure out her drama and do it now while she is relatively young enough to handle it herself. Don't stay long enough that she is aged and well dependent on you.

Don't believe anything she says, don't get involved in any fights, walk away and detach.

Have you read any of the stickies above? Have you joined a support group like Alanon yet? I encourage you to steer this boat and save yourself.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:29 PM
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I had a poster in my dorm room in college that said "My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips." She never got it, but that's fine with me. I learned a long time ago that confrontation with an A is pointless because you'll never get through to them. They're experts at denial and manipulation. I haven't talked to my mom in over three months now. It's blissfully quiet in my world now, and I'm hopeful that you'll get to experience that soon enough. FWIW, I am on antidepressants, but I'm also Bipolar. You're definitely not mental, though mental health issues aren't totally uncommon among us ACoA.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by renegayd View Post
well thats exactly what I did this morning, I am sick with labrynthitis and a cold, and my A mother asked me to do something for her later, which involves me feeling very very bad, sickwise, all because she has a bad hangover, so as I was venting and sent a message to my dad, it went straight to said A mother, who came upstairs shouting at me that I need to see a psychiatrist because she was not drinkin till 8am, even though she was, grrrrrrrrr. So much denial............ So I am off to see the doctor today and ask if they think I need it, I know I need to talk to someone about all this shyte, but me admitting that I have lost the plot will not help the situation while I am still living here, they can give me anti depressants and the like, but I still have to put up with her guilt trips and rubbish daily. I am sick and not working so cant move out. I am however thinking of asking to stay at a friends house tonight. fingers crossed. am I really going mental??
Does your phone take video? Try taking some footage of her crazy stuff, and show it to the shrink. He'll tell you who's a nutter and who isn't?



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Old 10-07-2012, 03:55 PM
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If you need a psychiatrist, it's to help you navigate the crazy SHE is putting into your life, not because you yourself are crazy.
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Old 10-08-2012, 03:18 AM
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Originally Posted by NWGRITS View Post
I had a poster in my dorm room in college that said "My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips." She never got it, but that's fine with me. .
Thats brilliant and so true.
I have video footage and voice recordings galore but no one will look at them, so maybe a sorting them and showing a shrink is a bloody good idea. Thanks tromboneliness.

thanks everyone. feeling a little better today, fingers crossed it lasts this time. my mother is being so nice to me, after she manipulated me to admit I am mental, she is offering to help me now, I give up on her now though, it is very sad but I have to do this for myself now. thank you
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:04 AM
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All of these posts are "right on!" I couldn't have said it better if I had tried! :-)
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