regeneration

I need some advice, and wanted to see how any ACOA with addiction issues approach this.

I stopped drinking just over 6 months ago, as despite trying to deny I was an alcoholic it I knew I needed to stop (and I had a feeling that if I stopped I'd maybe be able to deal with my childhood issues). I could generally stop when I started drinking but I was drinking most days, and I knew to sort out my head and depression it had to go.

I go to AA, as I initially struggled with stopping, and I had to come to terms with abstinence, AA does help, and I'm going to start working the steps soon. But it's the group support that kept me coming back, but if I figure I may as well try the steps.

I've had a lot of therapy, and recently been doing some intensive group therapy to deal with childhood trauma. During this time I read the book by Dr Jan on ACOA and she advised concentrating for a year on full sobriety, then go to Al anon, then do ACOA work.

How did everyone else approach this? I felt when I started to get sober I needed to unpick my childhood more, but didn't feel I had that support in AA, hence therapy for that. Whereas Dr Jan says get sober first, perhaps I shouldn't rush things?

Mracoa

There are a few folks in my ACOA group that were talking about this. They all agree, break the addiction 1st. Keep attending AA as needed to keep sober. Then do ACOA and/or Alanon.

Alanon is good for learning how / coping with an active alcoholic. ACoA is good for learning how to treat / cope with yourself. But make sobriety the 1st priority.

tromboneliness

Ya, at my ACoA meeting, we get a lot of long-time AA'ers who have a pretty good handle on sobriety, but -- possibly because AA frowns upon looking at family issues too much, because that's supposedly avoiding responsibility or blaming someone else for their alcoholism -- haven't worked out the family stuff.

I find that Al-Anon is good for figuring out how to deal with people, places, and things in the present, on a day-to-day basis. ACoA is more about examining our past as a way of figuring out how we got here -- which we have to do in order to heal. People say, "Forget the past," but that's impossible -- memories are stored in the ol' cerebrum, whether we like it or not. Looking at it in hindsight (the ACA Workbook and a good sponsor are invaluable aids), we can grow.... or at least that's the theory!

T

regeneration

thank you both very useful, I'll work on being sober then try ACOA and/or al anon. I think I need that extra support from people who will "get it". I did a really good online group looking at it but it was tough, I think the face to face group support will help.

fluffyflea

Work on staying sober for at least a year if not two then approach the ACOA issues.

DavidG

Hmmm a good topic...
most groups seem to like 18 months of two years clean or sober...

...I went to a family member who is still drinking and took family
issues to her... If it came up I woud keep contact with someone
newly sober until they were ready to get into an ACA group...

...as a guy, this would be men only of course.

...this is a family illness, with family solutions.

DavidG.