Not doing well. ;-(
:-(
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Toowoomba, Queensland
Posts: 160
Not doing well. ;-(
Lately I have felt like giving up on everything, everything I do, say, think is wrong, although this is how I have been brought up, caring and conscientious. But now it is all falling apart. I feel like curling up into a little ball in the corner and trying to disappear.
I know that my life could be worse, and that I do take things for granted often, but at the minute I feel just truly awful. Think I need to gain some perspective and go to a 3rd world country, and help those that really need it, not being stuck here helping parents who chose not to help themselves.
I know that my life could be worse, and that I do take things for granted often, but at the minute I feel just truly awful. Think I need to gain some perspective and go to a 3rd world country, and help those that really need it, not being stuck here helping parents who chose not to help themselves.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 179
Don't beat yourself up. It's not you fault, and you deserved better than you got. It's okay to be upset about the childhood you wanted but didn't get because of your parents. Don't look for affirmation from your parents, for them to admit your pain is valid is to admit they are bad parents.
They are not bad people, but the way they coped with thier own pain has impacted you, and they won't recognize that because it only adds to thier pain.
Don't worry about thier pain any longer. Work on your happiness. Get help!
If you can't afford or find a good counsler, see if there is an ACoA meeting near you. I think the link Meetings - Adult Children of Alcoholics - World Service Organization, Inc. will work for you.
You are not alone. Many of us have been where you are at right now. It gets better.
They are not bad people, but the way they coped with thier own pain has impacted you, and they won't recognize that because it only adds to thier pain.
Don't worry about thier pain any longer. Work on your happiness. Get help!
If you can't afford or find a good counsler, see if there is an ACoA meeting near you. I think the link Meetings - Adult Children of Alcoholics - World Service Organization, Inc. will work for you.
You are not alone. Many of us have been where you are at right now. It gets better.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Yes, agreeing with above ^
Right now you have to take care of yourself. Help yourself FIRST. You can't do your Mom or anyone in a third country any good if you are falling apart, right? Sure you could stuff it and pretend and just go on, but trust me, it will backfire on you.
Find out what works for you to get help, posting here or going to a meeting or finding a counselor. And Read, read read read. Start with the stickies like others have told you. Find a poster you like and read their blog posted here.
If you want to go home to Australia and get on with your life, that is fine. Your Mom will do what she does whether or not you are there. I know it seems terribly romantic to live your life for her and keep mopping up her messes, and feel like if you don't who will? It's all on your shoulders right? Well you will find that alcoholics are very inventive when they need to be. If you are enabling her she may just find it necessary to cut down and get help her herself if you remove yourself from the equation.
Now that sounds pretty harsh and it can be, she may never stop drinking. But it is not your job to fix it. Why? Because you can't.
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You can't Cure it.
I pray you find the peace you need.
Right now you have to take care of yourself. Help yourself FIRST. You can't do your Mom or anyone in a third country any good if you are falling apart, right? Sure you could stuff it and pretend and just go on, but trust me, it will backfire on you.
Find out what works for you to get help, posting here or going to a meeting or finding a counselor. And Read, read read read. Start with the stickies like others have told you. Find a poster you like and read their blog posted here.
If you want to go home to Australia and get on with your life, that is fine. Your Mom will do what she does whether or not you are there. I know it seems terribly romantic to live your life for her and keep mopping up her messes, and feel like if you don't who will? It's all on your shoulders right? Well you will find that alcoholics are very inventive when they need to be. If you are enabling her she may just find it necessary to cut down and get help her herself if you remove yourself from the equation.
Now that sounds pretty harsh and it can be, she may never stop drinking. But it is not your job to fix it. Why? Because you can't.
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You can't Cure it.
I pray you find the peace you need.
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