My sister is married to a sex addict!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
My sister is married to a sex addict!
I know that I can't help my sister directly, but I just needed to vent. This past weekend she revealed some stuff to me that just blew me away.
She has been separated from her sex addict husband since March, when he went to live with his new girlfriend(one of them anyway). They have 2 kids, ages 6 and 1. When she was pregnant with the baby about 20 months ago she found out she had HPV and that she got it from her husband who was messing around with the office skank. She's been through hell with this guy. He spent all their wedding money at strip clubs, this was after he quit his job just 3 days into their marriage. Oh, and he's jobless now, too, because he got fired in April. My sister wasn't there to wake him for work and they fired him for ongoing tardiness issues. He was denied unemployment. So, my sister is now finishing bankruptcy proceedings(he spent all their money and ran up the credit cards) and hasn't paid her mortgage since May and will most likely get foreclosed on soon. She was running a daycare from her home but lost most of her clients over the summer and now is in training with a realtor to do back up office support but she won't make enough to pay for the house and living expenses.
Every single person in our family told her not to marry him, and this was also well before he started cheating and acting like an ass. Anyway, this could be a long story so I'm going to cut to the chase. She was telling me how her husband keeps bugging her for affection, how he tries to hug her and kiss her and sleep over at their house at times, etc. I couldn't figure out why this guy was still trying to get in her pants. Well, she told me finally this past weekend that she's still been sleeping with him!!!! WHAT? Seriously? I freaked out on her over the phone. She said that despite everything that he's done, she still wants him. She told me that when she sees him, she just wants to be with him and sometimes can't fight that urge to 'do' him even when she's angry and terribly hurt by him. She just filed for divorce but they don't have any money and can't afford an attorney.
Our dad was an alcoholic and we had a lot of issues growing up. I just sit here and cry for her because I know what she's doing to herself. I told her that the sex needed to stop because it was leading him on and it's not fair to the kids to have daddy sleep over one night in mommy's bed and then have daddy disappear the next night and be over at his new home. I tried to appeal to her mommy side, so to speak. Honestly, though, no matter what advice I give her I know she's going to do what she's going to do. I wouldn't have said anything if she hadn't asked, either. I just feel so bad for her kids~
She has been separated from her sex addict husband since March, when he went to live with his new girlfriend(one of them anyway). They have 2 kids, ages 6 and 1. When she was pregnant with the baby about 20 months ago she found out she had HPV and that she got it from her husband who was messing around with the office skank. She's been through hell with this guy. He spent all their wedding money at strip clubs, this was after he quit his job just 3 days into their marriage. Oh, and he's jobless now, too, because he got fired in April. My sister wasn't there to wake him for work and they fired him for ongoing tardiness issues. He was denied unemployment. So, my sister is now finishing bankruptcy proceedings(he spent all their money and ran up the credit cards) and hasn't paid her mortgage since May and will most likely get foreclosed on soon. She was running a daycare from her home but lost most of her clients over the summer and now is in training with a realtor to do back up office support but she won't make enough to pay for the house and living expenses.
Every single person in our family told her not to marry him, and this was also well before he started cheating and acting like an ass. Anyway, this could be a long story so I'm going to cut to the chase. She was telling me how her husband keeps bugging her for affection, how he tries to hug her and kiss her and sleep over at their house at times, etc. I couldn't figure out why this guy was still trying to get in her pants. Well, she told me finally this past weekend that she's still been sleeping with him!!!! WHAT? Seriously? I freaked out on her over the phone. She said that despite everything that he's done, she still wants him. She told me that when she sees him, she just wants to be with him and sometimes can't fight that urge to 'do' him even when she's angry and terribly hurt by him. She just filed for divorce but they don't have any money and can't afford an attorney.
Our dad was an alcoholic and we had a lot of issues growing up. I just sit here and cry for her because I know what she's doing to herself. I told her that the sex needed to stop because it was leading him on and it's not fair to the kids to have daddy sleep over one night in mommy's bed and then have daddy disappear the next night and be over at his new home. I tried to appeal to her mommy side, so to speak. Honestly, though, no matter what advice I give her I know she's going to do what she's going to do. I wouldn't have said anything if she hadn't asked, either. I just feel so bad for her kids~
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 179
Hang in there. It's tough to watch a loved one put themselves in a bad situation. But she gets to make her own choices (even bad ones). If she asks you for advice, by all means give it. Outside of that, just try not to enable the bad choices.
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