Seriously considering separating from my ACoA (in denial) husband. :(
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Where the buffalo roam
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Very sound reasoning, SLady. Thank you so much for sharing. I really like that list.
It's weird how there are so many parallels in so many of our stories, but some of us take on certain roles, while our partners take on others... In my marriage, I am the one who has the acid tongue; up until recently, I never really bothered to try to keep those nasty words to myself. I wouldn't even call them thoughts, they're just words that I say in order to lash out, wound, and defend myself...the same way that my mother did. It's an absolutely horrible way to treat the people I care about, the people who care about me... But unfortunately, that's how my mother taught me to cope with feeling hurt, frustrated, angry, etc.
It's so nice to read so many awesome suggestions and actual experience from all of you on here, and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our struggles...others have been there, and worked their way through these same (or very similar) things.
It feels a bit better in our home for now, and after I had some time to myself to take a bath, exercise, and clean up the apartment, my husband was able to come in and have some time to himself in the bedroom, get on the computer for a while, and rest.
Hopefully this will last for a while, because there may be some major stressors coming our way pretty soon, and my husband just doesn't handle stress very easily. We've been in a better space since our conversation, and the atmosphere is starting to calm down a bit.
Much love and thanks to all of you.
It's weird how there are so many parallels in so many of our stories, but some of us take on certain roles, while our partners take on others... In my marriage, I am the one who has the acid tongue; up until recently, I never really bothered to try to keep those nasty words to myself. I wouldn't even call them thoughts, they're just words that I say in order to lash out, wound, and defend myself...the same way that my mother did. It's an absolutely horrible way to treat the people I care about, the people who care about me... But unfortunately, that's how my mother taught me to cope with feeling hurt, frustrated, angry, etc.
It's so nice to read so many awesome suggestions and actual experience from all of you on here, and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our struggles...others have been there, and worked their way through these same (or very similar) things.
It feels a bit better in our home for now, and after I had some time to myself to take a bath, exercise, and clean up the apartment, my husband was able to come in and have some time to himself in the bedroom, get on the computer for a while, and rest.
Hopefully this will last for a while, because there may be some major stressors coming our way pretty soon, and my husband just doesn't handle stress very easily. We've been in a better space since our conversation, and the atmosphere is starting to calm down a bit.
Much love and thanks to all of you.
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