stairs

For years I have lied to any professional who asked. I felt like I had to protect my parents, and my family and how our house was when we were growing up. My parents drank a LOT.

When I got a DUI and had to have a screening , I lied. When I went to outpatient , I lied.

My parents are both deceased, one by car accident when drunk and taking valium and one by heart attack, both under 55 years old when they passed.

I felt it was disrespectful to discuss their drinking.

Anyone else do this?

Chris1000101

I did as a kid and did it well. I did not want to do anything that would separate me from the daily chaos that I knew so well. When asked about the bruises, cuts and burns I just said I was playing and did something stupid. When the school shrink interrogated me about sexual abuse by showing my drawings, I lied about what I saw. Alcohol and many other issues were never brought up.

I lied to myself and denied it for years. Once in a blue moon I would admit to something but did everything I could to keep it quite. I eventually made it to counseling and the 12 step rooms where I have learned that the shame and guilt is not my burden. I am responsible for what is mine and let go of the rest. Hiding their skeletons is not my job and I am healthier today because of it.

Kialua

I never lied about it as a minor because I thought it was normal and didn't need telling. Does that make any sense? It would be like asking why I didn't tell that my parents breathed the air. Everyone does. We moved so much I didn't have any friends or relatives to compare the drinking and abuse with. But even if I did, I saw that my folks were very nice and happy to others and well liked, just like others were. So I thought that when we all parted then the real nature of those other people came out, just as my parents true nature emerged when we were alone.

I didn't like my parents and from a very young age determined to not be like them or care if they didn't love me. As soon as I was out on my own at 18 I slowly began to see the difference but it took me at lest a decade.

We were raised in crazy land by crazy people, it's no wonder we have these ideas of normalcy or protection. We didn't know what sanity was.

NWGRITS

Same here. I had no idea that all families weren't like mine, because that's all I knew. I never felt the need to hide it, but I didn't really recognize that the simple truth of the matter would get me in a boatload of trouble with the rest of my family members. Then when it did, I didn't understand WHY it was such a big deal. Alcoholism and dysfunction were the only family values we had. Now I'm open about my family and being an ACoA. I don't go parading it around, but I'm not ashamed, and I figure that if I'm in a conversation with someone about it, I might be helping them. It's amazing how many people I've met who think that living with a "functional alcoholic" is really normal and isn't hurting anyone. Which naturally makes me want to explode, because most of them have kids.