Beating myself up [again!]
 

A person in my community is dying... he and I have had a lot of conflict.
I identified him as an adult child- but he did not. It was tough.

Wanting to see him change too. We have a mutual friend who encouraged
me to go...

he was positive- knowing this was a last meeting... we laughed and talked. And then another person came round and took over... lunched into their stuff.

I felt like I should leave- but the guys wife was out, and I thought he needed someone there...

...so I hung in there while the other person did her stuff. More people arrived.

I chose a time to leave which suited me.

The thing is I used to back off and do nothing- not even going... now I am out there more I have to learn the ropes- learn the protocols...

At least I have ACA places to do the practise, to do the 'baby steps'...

Thanks for listening...

DavidG.

That is exactly what I used to do. I had too many emotions coming up at the same time from my ACA "stuff" and so I would end up doing nothing.

That was very hard for me. I am very good at interpreting when people intend to do me harm. Raised by drunks taught me that. When people do _not_ intend harm is where I get completely lost, I had no skills with which to interpret and understand their meaning.

That is what I did. Worked very well for me, even though I am a slow learner. Today I have the skill and can actually enjoy social events of all kinds. Once in a while the old emotions creep in, but they are now very week and easy to set aside.

Congratulations on doing the "work" of recovery.

Mike :)

[QUOTE=DesertEyes;3492306]That is exactly what I used to do. I had too many emotions coming up at the same time from my ACA "stuff" and so I would end up doing nothing.

Thanks Mike... as I shared I think I shucked off quite a bit of that 'beat up'.



That was very hard for me. I am very good at interpreting when people intend to do me harm. Raised by drunks taught me that. When people do _not_ intend harm is where I get completely lost, I had no skills with which to interpret and understand their meaning.

The alkies in my life were very passive aggressive... my dad came home from the pub and complained because me and my brother's hair was too long. He said someone in the pub had complained. This bloke was going to come around and shorten it for us!

Over time I learned that stuff like this was 'pub-talk'. Looking at myself I realise I have this same attribute- not being able to put my money where my mouth is at.



That is what I did. Worked very well for me, even though I am a slow learner. Today I have the skill and can actually enjoy social events of all kinds. Once in a while the old emotions creep in, but they are now very week and easy to set aside.

I am getting there... I was good at playing the 'fly on the wall' routine. Or 'the moth around the flame' routine. Or that rowdy 'fly in a bottle' routine.

When i feel stressed in company I have a panic cough- sometimes it clears; but sometimes I have to go get water...

This was too easy-peasy for me... but I have found deep breathing gets me by... gives me time to get that bad-mouth into gear [properly].

Being in ACA has given me rewards I never imagined possible.

[Most of the time, now...}

thanks,

_-D.