Melbadaze

My inner struggles with my childhood seem to know no ending. I've been in therapy for yrs and yes there have been changes for me. By still the triggers are there and feel enraged at injustices real and imagined. Not sure which are which when I'm like this. I want the world too see and Protest. Perhaps it's I wanted the world too see what was happening too me as a child. I loose friends when I'm like this. Of course they are protecting themselves from my insanity. Just help

Kialua

Welcome to our corner of the forum. You haven't said but were you raised by alcoholic parent(s)? In any case if you were traumatized as a child there is no excuse for that. I understand wanting the world to know, but really in the long run it does no good. Some people just don't care, some people don't believe you and some people do understand. But you will never get everyone to care. It will never change what happened. The only change you can find is to change yourself.

In my family of origin two of my sisters don't care and don't believe me that my alcoholic Dad beat me daily till I was 18. The younger sister saw it and doesn't believe her own eyes. Nothing I can do has changed her mind for 40 years. The older sister says I deserved it and it wasn't that bad and I should get over it, meaning never mention it again. (it was that bad and I didn't deserve it, no child deserves to be abused).

So what are you left with? Yes a good therapist can help, sounds like you have done that and you are still struggling. By all means find a new one and keep trying. Have you forgiven your abuser? That is powerful and it holds the key to your mental health. You can see the thread we discussed that here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ve-her-no.html

The other thing I would recommend is reading the "stickies" above and see how others have coped with this issue. This is a valuable place to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-us-acoa.html

This is your journey and it starts now.

frances2011

Welcome Melbadaze.