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Sometimes, it seems, that it can be the simple things we forget about that make the biggest difference. So glad to hear you guys are recharging that love for one another!

GingerM

I'm coming in late to the conversation, but wanted to say that these sorts of things are very important to remember who "I" am.

My own example: my dad is now in prison and will be there for another 9+ years. He is incapable, by virtue of his position, of handling most of his own affairs. My mom has dementia. My sister is on the verge of suicide. I am a Manager (which is often like being a mom). I am supporting my Nephew (who lists us as his permanent address) through college.

In other words, there is no time left for ME. I take care of others needs first and foremost. I carry all these people every day, then at night, come home, eat, and fall into bed exhausted. Where is there time for me?

It's not just the excitement that will help your wife. Perhaps her desire to go to grad school has nothing to do with school and everything to do with the fact that being a student is a very self-centered (not selfish, self-centered) occupation. By going back to school, the only person she would have to think about is herself, her studies, her grades.... in short, HER.

I would suggest trying to find one day a week and putting her on the calendar. Even if it's just a couple of hours. Do something that is entirely focused on her needs, her wants, her desires - even if that's her sitting around staring off into space or navel-gazing.

I, too, often lose "me" in all of the tumult around me. I will quite literally put "me" on my calendar. It is time for me to spend time with me, to take care of my needs, to do things that keep me going so I can continue to be there for all the other people. It sounds like your wife is going through the same thing - getting "lost" in all the things that she's carrying/doing for others. She may need your help in setting time aside for her - I certainly did.

Willybluedog

Thank you ady, I appreciate the kind thoughts.

Yes we are doing better, we are talking more, and I am trying to make sure my wife has more time to pursue things that she enjoys, even if it does take her away from us a little more.

Willybluedog

Ginger I know you are right, we will have to "make time" otherwise there will not be any.

Our lives are so busy, so hectic, and of course the kids don't see her near as much as they would prefer, so add the guilt that they throw around and it makes it much worse.

She has agreed to let me schedule a massage for her every month, and then she can take some time to go to the bookstore or wherever else you wants to go.

I hope a few hours a month will be enough, right now it will just have to do.

Thanks again,

Bill