Shorty73

A.C.O.A
I never knew what A.C.O.A was or meant until I started going to my recovery groups. My stepfather gave me my first beer when I was 8 and I thought I was the coolest kid in the world not knowing what I was about to become or should I say what I was born as an Alcoholic! My mother didn’t drink while I was growing up but now she drinks on a regular basis. I can’t help but get at them both, asking why did you do this to me? Didn’t you love me? Now I look in the mirror praying to my God “Please help me stay sober and BREAK this cycle”….I always ask myself, I wonder how would my life be if I wasn’t A.C.O.A/ Alcoholic/ Drunk!

Willybluedog

Shorty,

I am so sorry for all you are going through, I would like to suggest two books that one that literally changed my life, it is "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsh and one that made everything related to this mess with ACOA's make so much sense that is.

I cannot find the darn thing, I am going to look it up and post again in a minute.

Willybluedog

Shorty,

Ok the book is Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics they have it for $10.28 on Amazon

It is 72 questions and answers about ACOA's about 100 pages, easy to read, makes a ton of sense.

I hope the book helps, I feel like it really answered alot of questions for me.

I know where you are coming from, when I was a kid in the 60's there was this stuff called "Right Time" it was basically low alcohol soda (2%), a kid could not buy it but it was marketed toward kids, we drank that and thought we were way cool.

Best of luck to you, I will say a prayer for you,

Big hugs,

Bill

Shorty73

Hello Bill

Thank you for the suggestions. This is the part of my recovery that brings me down and makes me wonder so i will look for those books and add them to my reading program.
Thank you for your prayers Bill and i will keep you in my prayers

Kialua

Those books are great, I hope you do read through them. And look through the stickies on the top of the forum, they have a lot of wisdom.

One thing to ponder that will help your recovery as an ACOA is that our parents were not capable of giving children what they needed: safe healthy happy homes filled with love. They were lost in their own demons and selfish pursuits. You might have heard this saying here: You can't get bread at the hardware store. They are the hardware store and the bread is the good life you deserved. You have to find your own good life, like we have worked at very hard. It probably won't ever be with them but with others and with being good to yourself.

First there will be anger which is what you are expressing and then there will be acceptance and finally forgiveness for your parents. It doesn't come easy and they don't deserve forgiveness but we have found we need to forgive them to be able to move on and find happiness.

Good luck, glad you are exploring this.

STaylor98

I ask my self those questions alot...how would my relationships be if my dad wasnt an alcoholic,. When I was around 13 I was soo angry at god. I used to pray and ask why me? It seems unfair that we don't have a choice into the life were born into, but what helped me is telling myself everyday that everything that I go through makes me stronger and it makes you stronger. Your a walking testimate. Alot of people couldn't imagine the pain we feel and your living with it day by day and moving forward in life. I love who I am and if I didn't go through things with my dad I would be scared of who I would be today. IT WILL GET BETTER! I promise you that. You will get stronger

Shorty73

Staylor thank for those kind words and yes its been getting better as far as my resentment towards my parents. im learning how to have faith in my higher power and live life on life's terms and boy do i hate it sometimes but what can i do Ive stop asking why am i a Alcoholic and started asking what do i do to stay sober that's my only goal right now and then im sure ill find that inner peace and be truly happy... May your God Bless You All

Willybluedog

Hi Shorty,

So glad things are going better, hang in there and please come back often to let us know how you are doing.

Big hugs,

Bill

ACOAHappyNow

I'm so glad you are finding inner peace now through the program! Sometimes the best thing we can do is just walk away from the sickness and create our own new, healthy life with help from the program.

Shorty73

You are so right and ive begun my healing process dealing with my parents. I have actually forgiven them and pray for them every day. That's the only way i can stop my madness and stop the cycle. We are all human and i ask my higher power for forgiveness on a daily basis, my parents deserve the same forgiveness if not more May your God Bless You