My mom tried to commit suicide
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4
My mom tried to commit suicide
Hi,
Well I am new to this site, and honestly new to the realization my mother has a drinking and precription drug problem.
For years she has kept the drinking hidden. I knew she was a bit of a pill popper and theif as she would steal my pain meds when I was injuried or ill.
About 2 years ago my father left their marraige...I being young and nieve believed he had been cheating on my mother... he just left and I only heard her side of things. Come to find out he just couldn't handle the drinking and pill mixing.
I am 29 and have been married a year... my DH is supper supportive and wonderful and has been amazing through all of this.
Sunday my sister and her three children, 11, 9, and 6 were visiting at my house and my grandmother (my mom's mom) was here from Alaska. My sis is a bit of a hot head and has some communication issues. Mix that with my crazy mean old grandma and my alcoholic mother...
She slit her wrist in the bathroom in response to an argument between my grandmother and my sister. Thank God my husband broke down the bathroom door and saved her. After 4 hrs in the hospital they released her.... We were all shocked they did!
My mom denys that she drinks, but bottles, the breath, and bad behavior and two solid years of dealing with this plus her mixing pills all came to a point.
I was even in denial "oh no i dont think its that honey..." i would tell my husband. I honestly never had been around anyone that drank so I had no idea what they acted like or smelled like.
DH and I are went to a therapist thursday very eye opening! and we plan on attending Al-alon (sP?)
We have decided to move from our apartment into a differnt one in our complex that has a differnt lay out. It's just really hard to be here with knowing what happend and feeling violated.
At this point my dh and i are considering how to set strong boundries or have a "Break" from my mom. Right now I asked her to just call me and check in once a day so I don't worry by leaving me a voice mail. I told her I needed space, I explained I wanted her to get help, she still wont admit she needs help in regards to the drinking and drugs. She also claims she isn't suicidal and never has been. She lies a lot and its very hurtful and she manipulates and can be so mean....Just worried I wont be able to handle the break... I am just worried.
I also worry that I wont be able to maintain the boundries.
Well I am new to this site, and honestly new to the realization my mother has a drinking and precription drug problem.
For years she has kept the drinking hidden. I knew she was a bit of a pill popper and theif as she would steal my pain meds when I was injuried or ill.
About 2 years ago my father left their marraige...I being young and nieve believed he had been cheating on my mother... he just left and I only heard her side of things. Come to find out he just couldn't handle the drinking and pill mixing.
I am 29 and have been married a year... my DH is supper supportive and wonderful and has been amazing through all of this.
Sunday my sister and her three children, 11, 9, and 6 were visiting at my house and my grandmother (my mom's mom) was here from Alaska. My sis is a bit of a hot head and has some communication issues. Mix that with my crazy mean old grandma and my alcoholic mother...
She slit her wrist in the bathroom in response to an argument between my grandmother and my sister. Thank God my husband broke down the bathroom door and saved her. After 4 hrs in the hospital they released her.... We were all shocked they did!
My mom denys that she drinks, but bottles, the breath, and bad behavior and two solid years of dealing with this plus her mixing pills all came to a point.
I was even in denial "oh no i dont think its that honey..." i would tell my husband. I honestly never had been around anyone that drank so I had no idea what they acted like or smelled like.
DH and I are went to a therapist thursday very eye opening! and we plan on attending Al-alon (sP?)
We have decided to move from our apartment into a differnt one in our complex that has a differnt lay out. It's just really hard to be here with knowing what happend and feeling violated.
At this point my dh and i are considering how to set strong boundries or have a "Break" from my mom. Right now I asked her to just call me and check in once a day so I don't worry by leaving me a voice mail. I told her I needed space, I explained I wanted her to get help, she still wont admit she needs help in regards to the drinking and drugs. She also claims she isn't suicidal and never has been. She lies a lot and its very hurtful and she manipulates and can be so mean....Just worried I wont be able to handle the break... I am just worried.
I also worry that I wont be able to maintain the boundries.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
Sounds like she really needs some help, but will have to get to the point of excepting & wanting that... I'm an alcoholic and nothing changed for me until I acknowledged that and wanted to change... Scare tactics and ultimatums rarely ever work on an addict. Save your own sanity first and foremost.
There are others here that can surely relate with you. Hoping for the best.
There are others here that can surely relate with you. Hoping for the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Welcome lisaroo, so glad you are here. I am glad you are seeing a counselor, hopefully they will be able to help you set boundaries, you should also read the permanant posts or "stickies" at the top of this page and at the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum.
In addition I would recommend al-anon, it will give you some onsights into the mind of an alcoholic and better help you set boundaries.
I am shocked that they did not put your mom on 72 hour hold, somebody really dropped the ball there.
Please come back often, read as much information as you can get your hands on and work on your boundaries.
Best of luck to all of you,
Bill
In addition I would recommend al-anon, it will give you some onsights into the mind of an alcoholic and better help you set boundaries.
I am shocked that they did not put your mom on 72 hour hold, somebody really dropped the ball there.
Please come back often, read as much information as you can get your hands on and work on your boundaries.
Best of luck to all of you,
Bill
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
I am shocked as well. Here in my state it is a 30 day observation if someone tried to commit suicide. But I know how the alcoholic can play the doctors and talk them out of it too, sounding so sane.
Well welcome to our little group, hope you can find some helpful insight here. I'm sorry this is happening.
Well welcome to our little group, hope you can find some helpful insight here. I'm sorry this is happening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 101
That is a shame the little kids had to witness that drama. You don't mention if you have children but you do have a home. You deserve a home of peace and tranquility. Not the toxic fighting and drama even if they are only visiting.
You and husband have already gone to a therapist and need to get involved in your recovery. There is Al Anon. Also ACA (adult children of alcoholics).
Lots of literature and info on how to handle this.
The toxic drama of a dysfunctional family will seep into your marriage.
I truly regret hanging on (loyalty is a trait we have) and letting him witness incredible fights and absurd drama and efforts to get alcoholic parent to not drink which has never worked.
You and husband have already gone to a therapist and need to get involved in your recovery. There is Al Anon. Also ACA (adult children of alcoholics).
Lots of literature and info on how to handle this.
The toxic drama of a dysfunctional family will seep into your marriage.
I truly regret hanging on (loyalty is a trait we have) and letting him witness incredible fights and absurd drama and efforts to get alcoholic parent to not drink which has never worked.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4
Thank you all for your support! I have been viewing a lot of the helpful information provided on the sticky notes.
My dh and I are trying our best to move forward as it stands right now I haven't spoken with my mother in almost a week tomorrow. She would call me 3-5 times a day half of the time drunk or possibly pills? She always would claim she sounded funny because she was exhausted. *sigh* it's on one hand nice on the other I feel guilty about not talking with her... I told her that I needed space and time just to check in by voicemail so far this has worked although yesterday she didn't call until 10 pm as if to test if I would call her? As she was suppose to call around 3:30 just to let me know she is ok. It was super hard for me not to call her and check on her... Her voice on my voicemail sounded drugged so I have little doubt she is settling back into her old ways already. She honestly acts like nothing happend... She spoke wih my sister and tried to tell her the dr called and said " we mixed up your blood test and there was no alcohol in it". Now mind u she at the hospital tried telling me it was from night quill from two nights prior.
All the bold lies have been driving me nuts but now that she has done what she did its even worse.
She lied a lot during my parents divorce making me believe my father was actually a ******* to her when the truth was he kept trying to get her help until he himself couldn't take it anymore and left.
This whole situation has messed with my stomach been sick all week and my nerves are a bit frayed. On top of it my dh and I are moving out this coming weekend which is what we wanted to do not only because of what happend in our apartment but we are worried about my nephew who likes to visit us during his summer vacation he has anxiety disorder and a photographic memory we knew he would never be able to come back to this place. We are lucky the complex we live in has an easy transfer policy and are going just a few buildings down with a new layout. Its also a positive in that dh and I are going to start trying for a baby with in this coming year and it has an extra bedroom. So it is really one positive thing to be looking forward to.
Also btw I typed this on my phone so um if auto texted messed up please forgive the typos I will review this when I have access to a Pc
My dh and I are trying our best to move forward as it stands right now I haven't spoken with my mother in almost a week tomorrow. She would call me 3-5 times a day half of the time drunk or possibly pills? She always would claim she sounded funny because she was exhausted. *sigh* it's on one hand nice on the other I feel guilty about not talking with her... I told her that I needed space and time just to check in by voicemail so far this has worked although yesterday she didn't call until 10 pm as if to test if I would call her? As she was suppose to call around 3:30 just to let me know she is ok. It was super hard for me not to call her and check on her... Her voice on my voicemail sounded drugged so I have little doubt she is settling back into her old ways already. She honestly acts like nothing happend... She spoke wih my sister and tried to tell her the dr called and said " we mixed up your blood test and there was no alcohol in it". Now mind u she at the hospital tried telling me it was from night quill from two nights prior.
All the bold lies have been driving me nuts but now that she has done what she did its even worse.
She lied a lot during my parents divorce making me believe my father was actually a ******* to her when the truth was he kept trying to get her help until he himself couldn't take it anymore and left.
This whole situation has messed with my stomach been sick all week and my nerves are a bit frayed. On top of it my dh and I are moving out this coming weekend which is what we wanted to do not only because of what happend in our apartment but we are worried about my nephew who likes to visit us during his summer vacation he has anxiety disorder and a photographic memory we knew he would never be able to come back to this place. We are lucky the complex we live in has an easy transfer policy and are going just a few buildings down with a new layout. Its also a positive in that dh and I are going to start trying for a baby with in this coming year and it has an extra bedroom. So it is really one positive thing to be looking forward to.
Also btw I typed this on my phone so um if auto texted messed up please forgive the typos I will review this when I have access to a Pc
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Yes the info in the stickies is helpful isn't it? I hope it can help you find boundaries and give you the strength to not feel guilty. Then you can avoid those gut wrenching tummy problems. It won't be easy detaching, but it's for the best.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Where the buffalo roam
Posts: 370
Hi, and welcome to our forum!
I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this, but I'm proud of you for seeking help for yourself and your husband, and doing the things that are best for YOU.
My heart goes out to you and your family, and your mother. I hope that she will eventually decide to get help, but that's not always the case.
That's great that you're able to move into a different apartment, and that you have healthy concern for yourselves as well as for your nephew.
Warm thoughts to you, I hope you keep posting on here, it's a very supportive group.
I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this, but I'm proud of you for seeking help for yourself and your husband, and doing the things that are best for YOU.
My heart goes out to you and your family, and your mother. I hope that she will eventually decide to get help, but that's not always the case.
That's great that you're able to move into a different apartment, and that you have healthy concern for yourselves as well as for your nephew.
Warm thoughts to you, I hope you keep posting on here, it's a very supportive group.
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