Vivid Memories
Clever Yak
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Vivid Memories
I am just curious to know if you guys remember every little detail of something that happened when you were really young. I'm talking like 4 years old (or younger). I can remember what everyone was saying, where we were, what we were doing, what I was wearing, etc. I know a lot of people recall some very vivid memories from their childhoods, but what about when you were that young? I am wondering if I am a weird one for being able to remember something so well from when I was so young... a counselor told me today that even for an ACoA, he found it peculiar that I could remember so much for being so young. Is it really that odd? I think it's more common than the counselor realizes (this is the first time I've met with this guy).
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how old are you?
direct memories of events from that age are not unusual, however, with time they become indirect when folks recall them...that is, you remember remembering. Some things (moments in time during specific events), if important enough, you may never directly forget, however.
so it depends on how old you are now and the nature of the event in question...
it doesn't make you odd, at any rate. Your conseler has probably simply forgotten that he/she used to remember remembering stuff too (isn't it ironic, don't cha think?)!
direct memories of events from that age are not unusual, however, with time they become indirect when folks recall them...that is, you remember remembering. Some things (moments in time during specific events), if important enough, you may never directly forget, however.
so it depends on how old you are now and the nature of the event in question...
it doesn't make you odd, at any rate. Your conseler has probably simply forgotten that he/she used to remember remembering stuff too (isn't it ironic, don't cha think?)!
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Jason, memories tied to events are very commom, my therapist says we can remember back to as early as two if there is a memory tied to an event, I have vivid memeories and dreams about a terrible tornado that happened at about 2 years old, and I have written about clear memories as young as 4 because the were tied to a specific traumatic event and they can be triggered by old tapes of vietnam news footage, walter cronkite, and cheap cigars.
Because I have PTSD related to these events my therapist has used EMDR therapy with me and it has been very helpful in making me remember those traumas as 45 year old memories instead of yesterday memories.
Because I have PTSD related to these events my therapist has used EMDR therapy with me and it has been very helpful in making me remember those traumas as 45 year old memories instead of yesterday memories.
Clever Yak
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Originally Posted by SpeedyJason 
a counselor told me today that even for an ACoA, he found it peculiar that I could remember so much for being so young.
Bill, I guess I don't think the event is tied to anything because the event itself was "traumatic" if you wan to put it that way. That's why I remember it so well...all the details. I don't know what it was triggered by, I just thought of it today out of the blue it seems, but I suppose there's a reason behind why it came up and it wasn't really out of the blue. I haven't "visited" this memory in a long time. It was just strange.
Thanks for your replies guys.
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All the time. My husband marvels at my memory. I find it a burden. I can recall being one and taken to the hospital and being yelled at by my Dad just to get me out of the car. Stupid. But other memories of everyday life too.
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I don't have very clear memories of childhood or to be honest much of my past. Some I attribute to my age (58) and some having a lot of memories that really aren't worth remembering.
Most of my memories tend to be less visual and more about what emotions are associated with the memory. Since there was always an undercurrent of fear in my childhood that's the main thing I remember. Occasional high and low points but mostly just being on guard.
Your friend,
Most of my memories tend to be less visual and more about what emotions are associated with the memory. Since there was always an undercurrent of fear in my childhood that's the main thing I remember. Occasional high and low points but mostly just being on guard.
Your friend,
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I have some vivid memories from when I was little. They are not all traumatic events, either. They are little bits and pieces of vivid memory. I especially have memories of being about 3 or 4 years old, and some later than that. I even have one memory of being toddler-aged. I don't know if it is unusual or not.
I'm no angel!
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I remember what happened to me at age 3 or 4 because my family related the events to me over and over again...so they became my memories. As for me alone, my memories
are clear at age 9, from then on, they truly are my memories.
Jay, you are special..certainly not weird.
are clear at age 9, from then on, they truly are my memories.
Jay, you are special..certainly not weird.
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I'm now at the stage of remembering the memories (remembering remembering), but I do have very clear, vivid memories back as far as standing in my crib, so I'm guessing around 18 months old.
Are clear, vivid memories particular to ACoA's?
Are clear, vivid memories particular to ACoA's?
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Originally Posted by Willybluedog
As I understand it some clear and vivid memories are related to PTSD. I will ask my therapist about this next week.
Thanks all,
Bill
Thanks all,
Bill
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
I have lots of vivid memories of a very young age, about two or three, maybe younger. Almost all of them are trauma based, but there is one that is truly an anomaly. It is a really good memory, the only good one that I have with my mom and dad. I think it is the one I held onto when things went horribly bad. My survival memory in a way. It was proof that the world and my family was not Totally evil. Interestingly enough, it is the only good memory I have and I'm pretty sure that it was the last time things were "normal" and happy before turning to hell.
In your case, if you are just now remembering this, it may be a really good sign. I believe that when we are ready to start facing some of the worst events in our lives, that we actually start pulling memories forward of what things were like before the trauma and slowly work our way forward to remember and deal with the unpleasant ones. Almost a time line sequence, trying to place where it all went wrong, trying to analyze why and how. Reassuring ourselves that we did nothing wrong. That we were not to blame for what happened next, no matter what someone else may have drilled into our heads.
It is possible Jason, that you are ready to start coming to terms with the things that happened, subconsciously starting with non-threatening memories that maybe got lost when a few bad ones got stuffed down. These are just my thoughts on the issue. But when I read your post, the first thought that popped into my head was that you are opening a door, just cracking it open a little, ready to start the next phase of healing.
In your case, if you are just now remembering this, it may be a really good sign. I believe that when we are ready to start facing some of the worst events in our lives, that we actually start pulling memories forward of what things were like before the trauma and slowly work our way forward to remember and deal with the unpleasant ones. Almost a time line sequence, trying to place where it all went wrong, trying to analyze why and how. Reassuring ourselves that we did nothing wrong. That we were not to blame for what happened next, no matter what someone else may have drilled into our heads.
It is possible Jason, that you are ready to start coming to terms with the things that happened, subconsciously starting with non-threatening memories that maybe got lost when a few bad ones got stuffed down. These are just my thoughts on the issue. But when I read your post, the first thought that popped into my head was that you are opening a door, just cracking it open a little, ready to start the next phase of healing.
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This counselor reminds me of my (abusive) mother. Whenever one of the grandchildren was yelled at or punished she would meanly say, "Oh -they are too young to remember this ever happened!" And we would all just nod along in agreement. She was wishful thinking I guess and teaching us that we do not remember. However as I stated above, I remembered every little detail and I should have known better, but I was little and in the midst of being brainwashed, ha ha.
Clever Yak
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Originally Posted by Kialua
This counselor reminds me of my (abusive) mother
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Originally Posted by Willybluedog
As I understand it some clear and vivid memories are related to PTSD. I will ask my therapist about this next week.
I have very vivid detailed memories, good and bad depending on how you view them. almost minute to minute....detailed flash backs as well, almost to real.
Bits and pieces as a child, 10 seems to be the earliest of more complex ones...nothing of junior and senior year bits of my first year of college...don't have my wedding at all, just some of the reception, I don't even remember saying my vows and I wrote my own....but from the birth of my first child I have almost everything. I absorb everything around me and like file it away.
Memories, are selective, I have somethings I didn't remember until I started to journal and it was like the flood gates open. I was just so good at tucking everything away nice and neat...I think I stuffed the closet to full and it burst. Probably a good thing in the end, even if it was confusing and painful at the time.
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It's chemistry.
The medical community figured it out when they were studying the process of learning. If a student drinks coffee, or chocolate, when studying they will do better at a test if they drink the same thing while taking the test.
Emotions generate lots of internal chemicals; adrenalin, epinephrine, etc.. The greater the emotion, the more the chemicals. A hugely intense emotional experience causes such a flood of chemicals that the memory system becomes "imprinted".
The catch is that when the intense emotions _continue_ then the body runs short of those chemicals. That is why a soldier will remember the first week of combat, but not the rest of the month. If the intense emotions continue even after the body runs short of chemicals you get something they used to call "shell shock".
After that it gets complicated.
The process of "integrating" those extreme emotions _also_ requires brain chemicals. If the body is constantly under stress and never gets a chance to rebuild the internal stores then the person never "integrates" the experience. But the memories remain.
PTSD is when those memories keep "recycling" in the brain. Each time the memory is "triggered" by something the body generates the same chemicals as when the experience actually happened. The problem is that when a soldier is under combat the adrenalin, and other chemicals, are _used_ by the body to run, fight, shoot, etc. When there is no physical activity to consume the chemicals they just sit there and make the person feel like they are going crazy.
The challenge here is that the memory, and experience, are "imprinted", and were never integrated when they should have been. So it takes longer for the person to deal with the events and get the body chemicals to stop generating, and for the memories to slowly fade in importance.
Alcohol, and other such drugs, are great at depressing the production of those chemicals. So the soldier still remembers, but the emotions never get kicked up. That's why some people call that "self-medicating", people take alcohol as a method of lowering the intensity of the emotions. It works for a while, but the side effects will eventually kill you.
PTSD from childhood events is actually quite different, even though on the surface they appear the same. An adult in combat has an expectation that after their tour of duty is over they will return to safety. They also have a group of other professional warriors around them to help. A child has nothing of the sort, and lacks the intellectual development, not to mention experience, with which to create any kind of hope.
Adults under extreme physical danger from other adults develop something called "Stockholm syndrome". A battered spouse, who has been abused for more than just a few weeks, will get _both_ Stockholm syndrome _and_ PTSD. The catch is that the battered spouse is _still_ in the dangerous environment, which makes those conditions get deeper, and deeper, and deeper. The good news is that once they get _out_ of the dangerous environment they can heal because they have a normal world to return to. Much like a soldier who returns from combat. Given proper support they heal just fine, and really don't need a lot counseling or medication. Peer groups and a _little_ counseling does the job.
Children, on the other hand, have no such thing as a normal world to return to. They never had a "normal" anything. Everything they see and experience is "colored" by the PTSD and Stockholm syndrome. The task here is not only to overcome the horrid experiences and memories, but also to provide the direction and support with which to replace the absence of role models and family molding.
That is why there is ACoA, and loads of books on the subject at the bookstore, and therapists who specialize in this, and on and on and on.
The good news is that ACoA's _do_ recover. It takes longer, but it happens just the same.
As a side note, if you ever come across somebody in an abusive relationship, don't even _think_ of helping. This person's life is in danger _today_, and it is _very_ difficult to get them out without the support of police, social workers and what not. Instead of helping, call your local domestic violence shelter and ask _them_ what you can do. Also read the stickies we have in the forums "next door".
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-abused.html
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
The medical community figured it out when they were studying the process of learning. If a student drinks coffee, or chocolate, when studying they will do better at a test if they drink the same thing while taking the test.
Emotions generate lots of internal chemicals; adrenalin, epinephrine, etc.. The greater the emotion, the more the chemicals. A hugely intense emotional experience causes such a flood of chemicals that the memory system becomes "imprinted".
The catch is that when the intense emotions _continue_ then the body runs short of those chemicals. That is why a soldier will remember the first week of combat, but not the rest of the month. If the intense emotions continue even after the body runs short of chemicals you get something they used to call "shell shock".
After that it gets complicated.
The process of "integrating" those extreme emotions _also_ requires brain chemicals. If the body is constantly under stress and never gets a chance to rebuild the internal stores then the person never "integrates" the experience. But the memories remain.
PTSD is when those memories keep "recycling" in the brain. Each time the memory is "triggered" by something the body generates the same chemicals as when the experience actually happened. The problem is that when a soldier is under combat the adrenalin, and other chemicals, are _used_ by the body to run, fight, shoot, etc. When there is no physical activity to consume the chemicals they just sit there and make the person feel like they are going crazy.
The challenge here is that the memory, and experience, are "imprinted", and were never integrated when they should have been. So it takes longer for the person to deal with the events and get the body chemicals to stop generating, and for the memories to slowly fade in importance.
Alcohol, and other such drugs, are great at depressing the production of those chemicals. So the soldier still remembers, but the emotions never get kicked up. That's why some people call that "self-medicating", people take alcohol as a method of lowering the intensity of the emotions. It works for a while, but the side effects will eventually kill you.
PTSD from childhood events is actually quite different, even though on the surface they appear the same. An adult in combat has an expectation that after their tour of duty is over they will return to safety. They also have a group of other professional warriors around them to help. A child has nothing of the sort, and lacks the intellectual development, not to mention experience, with which to create any kind of hope.
Adults under extreme physical danger from other adults develop something called "Stockholm syndrome". A battered spouse, who has been abused for more than just a few weeks, will get _both_ Stockholm syndrome _and_ PTSD. The catch is that the battered spouse is _still_ in the dangerous environment, which makes those conditions get deeper, and deeper, and deeper. The good news is that once they get _out_ of the dangerous environment they can heal because they have a normal world to return to. Much like a soldier who returns from combat. Given proper support they heal just fine, and really don't need a lot counseling or medication. Peer groups and a _little_ counseling does the job.
Children, on the other hand, have no such thing as a normal world to return to. They never had a "normal" anything. Everything they see and experience is "colored" by the PTSD and Stockholm syndrome. The task here is not only to overcome the horrid experiences and memories, but also to provide the direction and support with which to replace the absence of role models and family molding.
That is why there is ACoA, and loads of books on the subject at the bookstore, and therapists who specialize in this, and on and on and on.
The good news is that ACoA's _do_ recover. It takes longer, but it happens just the same.
As a side note, if you ever come across somebody in an abusive relationship, don't even _think_ of helping. This person's life is in danger _today_, and it is _very_ difficult to get them out without the support of police, social workers and what not. Instead of helping, call your local domestic violence shelter and ask _them_ what you can do. Also read the stickies we have in the forums "next door".
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-abused.html
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
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(((((Jason)))))
Years ago, I know I was already in recovery, I must have been about 40 I kept have this recurring memory of being on a plane, being rather small and running up to the cockpit area and then the memory stopped. It was an old style plane, not like the ones we fly in now.
I finally asked my father if he knew anything about it. He sure did. He said that was the flight we took, to fly back to Chicago from New York (where I had been born). My mother was a nervous flyer, I was not. Turns out that where my memory stopped is where it got good. I ran up to the cockpit, and either the pilot or the co pilot picked me up and put me in their lap and I flew most of the way back to Chicago in the cockpit of the plane, roflmao. I was 2 years and 4 1/2 months old.
I, in the past have talked with my Psych Dr about 'memories'. She told me that in her opinion, as she has had clients that did, that we can remember 'events' back to about 18 months of age. These 'events' can be very positive or very negative.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Years ago, I know I was already in recovery, I must have been about 40 I kept have this recurring memory of being on a plane, being rather small and running up to the cockpit area and then the memory stopped. It was an old style plane, not like the ones we fly in now.
I finally asked my father if he knew anything about it. He sure did. He said that was the flight we took, to fly back to Chicago from New York (where I had been born). My mother was a nervous flyer, I was not. Turns out that where my memory stopped is where it got good. I ran up to the cockpit, and either the pilot or the co pilot picked me up and put me in their lap and I flew most of the way back to Chicago in the cockpit of the plane, roflmao. I was 2 years and 4 1/2 months old.
I, in the past have talked with my Psych Dr about 'memories'. She told me that in her opinion, as she has had clients that did, that we can remember 'events' back to about 18 months of age. These 'events' can be very positive or very negative.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
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