Suffocating

How do you do that?

I didn't grow up in any one place. We moved around a lot so I never really learned or got the chance to build friendships.

I understand what friendship is and I understand healthy friendships compared to unhealthy. I'm 27 years old now and I don't have any girlfriends to go out with and just be girls with.

I'm in beauty school right now, but I have a hard time trying to plan stuff with people. I seem to meet people that I think are cool or whatever, but then they flake or I end up being the one making all of the effort. Or, I end up finding people that do bad things, have millions of complaints, etc. You know what I mean?

I just want some girlfriends who are positive, encouraging, give and take equally, who have good values, that aren't only into clubbing and drinking, who want to go see a movie, or shopping, or something. You know?

I don't understand why it's so hard. How do I do this? How do you do it? Now, I know I have my own problems and there are things about me as a friend that I have to work on so I'm not saying that everyone else is the problem.

Are my expectations of a friendship unrealistic? Errrgh. There are so many things in life that I feel like I don't know how to do lol

Suffocating

I'm now on Craigslist looking in the platonic personal ads for other girls looking for friendships hahaahhahahaha oh my God, this is sad!

Willybluedog

I have met many nice people at continuing education classes, mainly centered around hobbies that I wanted to get better at, also I did some volunteering and that was a great place to meet people who are generous with their time and very friendly.

Willybluedog

double post, sorry.

Willybluedog

triple post, ugh!

Suffocating

haha, thanks Bill.

EveningRose

Pursue the things you love.

I had an interest I loved and joined a group of like-minded individuals at a community center for a weekly class. It could be anything you love or think you'd like to try--an academic class at a local college, pottery, ballet, swing dancing, painting, languages, sports, cycling, snorkeling, anything at all.

Join a group who also loves it, and you're much more likely to meet friends.

Suffocating

Thanks you guys for the advice. I go to school right now fulltime Tuesday through Saturday 8:30-5:00 pm. I'm trying on Craigslist to find some group to go to.

There seems to be a few women looking for friendships in their ads that seem cool, but I'm afraid to respond to them. I don't know what to say lol Such anxiety I feel.

Maybe I'm making this too complicated. Maybe I should just let go and learn to enjoy my own company and do things by myself. I don't know. Maybe then, I will meet a great group of women at some point, maybe when I graduate or something.

Kialua

I can relate to that, I moved as a child so many times and went to a dozen schools. Needless to say I didn't end up with any childhood friends save one that I barely keep in touch with. But I did meet some at church that have been life-long friends though we have all moved around to other churches. Though the church we all went to was very very large and we found each other through the different groups offered there.

Don't give up trying to connect but be careful on craigslist though.

dollydo

I found that by joining meetups in my area I met people who shared my interests. If you search the net and google meetups and your town you will find all kinds of fun groups to join.

Plath

I know from experience with some of my friends who have gone to beauty school that it can be a really difficult place to form meaningful friendships. I am only going on what my friends have said, and so I'm sure that it may be different where you are.

Unfortunately, I can only say that most of my female friends have either been my friends since school, or I've met them through work or other 12 step meetings...

We moved away from the city for about a year and a half in 2010, and I had no idea how to make friends there.
We were in a small town that didn't really hold a lot for me as far as things I enjoy doing, overall mentality, etc., and I felt very isolated and alone during my pregnancy there.
Not only was I pregnant and couldn't get out and do fun stuff outdoors (which was really all there was to do there), I just didn't really dig the "vibe" of the town, and I felt like I couldn't identify with the people there.
Part of that was on me, of course...

As others have mentioned, it's never a bad idea to find things you enjoy and classes, etc.
For me, I tried Tai Chi for a while, and was considering yoga classes, but I have really bad social anxiety in small settings, so it was hard.

I used to go to karate classes when I was younger, and I did meet a lot of people there, it was a reasonably small/medium group of people, and it was fun.

I don't know what size of a town/city you live in, but the bigger the place it seems the more likely you are to form friendships in places where you have things in common with people--record stores, art galleries, coffee shops, etc. Even if you live in a small place, those types of places are usually available.

I think that, when we open ourselves up to our need for genuine friendship, we will usually begin to find what we're looking for. From my experience, I've often found people who just happened to be in the same situation that I was in...for whatever reason, they didn't already have a group of friends that they always hung out with, and were good company.

Best of luck.