Chimmy

Hi,

My Mother is an Alcoholic, and I was wondering is it normal to drink for 2-3 weeks then be sober for 2 months, the pattern has been pretty much stable for a couple of years now.

Is this pattern more or less damaging than continuous drinking (she used to continuously drink but then went to rehab, was dry for about 5 years, and is now doing this 2 months off 2/3 weeks on business)

Thanks

x x x

tromboneliness

It doesn't really matter -- because whatever her pattern is, is what it's going to be. That's at the risk of sounding like an annoying Al-Anon slogan-mouth, but when she wants to drink, she's going to drink, and when she wants to abstain, she'll abstain -- we can't do anything much to control someone else's drinking habits.

In terms of physiology, it's probably helpful to give your liver a couple of months' vacation, in between rounds of clobbering it.

T

Willybluedog

A friend of mine is an A and so is her mom, my friend has been sober for years but her mom relapses on a regular basis, she says the pressure of staying sober gets to her because she expects herself to fail eventually anyway, so she just drinks on a fairly regular basis then goes back to recovery, I don't know how it affects her other than she looks much healthier and seems more alert, happy, etc.

tromboneliness

Sounds like she hasn't gotten the memo that "eventually" isn't one of the slogans -- it's "One Day at a Time!"

T

Chimmy

Mum says something similar to that when she is drinking, she says she knows everyone leaves her alone when she drinks and that's why she does it, although when she is sober she doesn't know what the triggers are, and feels very down and feels like she has let everyone down etc etc.

She gets a look in her eye when the drinking is going to start, when you visit her she can't wait for you to leave, is asking what time are you going to call me etc

Problem is when she is sober she is normal, and doesn't need to seek councelling and is happy and funnny and brilliant. Then the drunk one is the one we all know, incoherant, not interested in anything anyone else does. I don't bother talking to her when she is like this, I've stopped trying to help etc as I can't do anything except enjoy her when she is well.

Chimmy

I have tried talking to her, this isn't a new thing My mum started heavily drinking in 1993 (that's from what I can remember) WE have tried talking to her, she has gone to councelling, rehab twice, AA (that made her so much worse), assertiveness courses.....The list goes on!!

We try talking to her when she is sober, but she doesn't know why she does it, she doesn't know when her drinking is going to start but when it does she gets that look and gets very secrative and sneaky and then we catch her, and then she drinks for 2 weeks - worryingly though this time it's been 3 weeks her sister got involved which I think has made things worse.

I can see what it's like, I quit smoking, and early doors I'd find myself in the shop asking for cigarettes, then next thing I knew I was smoking, it was like I had no control, I think this must be what its like, but then she gets a taste, and that's her gone for a while. I think she is too ashamed to stop drinking and face everyone.