GingerM

Less than 24 hours until we can all breathe that annual huge sigh of relief that the holidays are over. One hour at a time, we'll make it through another one, then get 11 months to recover and brace ourselves for the next one.

I'll do a little happy dance tomorrow when life resumes as normal. I invite you all to join me in it!

Gin

dollydo

Get ready...Lets Dance!

kiki5711

Scolova

LOL, I am looking forward to 2012. Although I have enjoyed this Christmas, during the first steps of my new life.

Kialua

Yes, I'll join in. So glad this is over. Have to say it helped a lot to know this forum was here and all the discussing we had in advance! Thanks.

bluebelle

I made it through the holidays, and this site helped. I was able to do my own thing--with friends, and celebrate the way I wanted. I didn't call anybody in my family for a few days around Christmas. I ended up spending most of Christmas sleeping. I was really tired, and I think some of it was a psychological fatigue rather than just physical. I even had a little tree this year and mailed packages to my family. Some years, I was unable to do that. Some of my Christmases in the past were very awful, but I'm working on building my own personal Christmas traditions.

choublak

Aww, the holidays can't possibly be THAT bad, can they?

PurpleWilder

Ugh - I'm glad the holidays are over too. I work retail and have been putting up with insanely unmeetable work expectations and manic managers stressed out by their managers. People are "working their resentments" all over the place with snide comments, stupid gossip and condecending behavior. It is worth the reduced work schedule/income after the holidays in order to get some peace back.

Not to mention having to drag the XAH through even the most basic of holiday observances with regards to the kids because he is depressed, has issues with the holidays, is always broke.....blah, blah, blah.

Kialua

Yes they can be. Many of us come from traumatic childhoods with life long debilitating results which we are taking head on this time of year. The relatives that should give love and protection were our tormentors and some still live in that. The pain and sadness is common to many here and the healng of years gone by are worked out daily on this forum. I'm glad you are not dealing with this and can enjoy this holiday season.

bluebelle

Yes, the holidays can be that bad. They are a very stressful time for me because my AM was always at her worst at those times. Christmas involves a lot of expectations, a lot of family, a lot of booze, and a lot of drugs for some families. All of that can bring out the worst in family members.

I don't feel complete relief regarding the holidays until they are completely over, either. Last year after the holidays, my mom tried to kill herself. It's helpful for me to treat myself gently and to create new holiday traditions. My NYE will inolve relaxing and watching movies--no wild parties. I slept through a lot of Christmas, and spent Christmas Eve with sober friends. I had a great time with those friends, too!!

I even send out Christmas cards now, which I didn't do for several years. I had such a negative feeling about Christmas, that I tried to avoid all things Christmas. I've just gotten rid of expectations, and have decided to create my own traditions.

choublak

Well, why spend the holidays with people who torment you?

GingerM

For some people, the fallout of NOT spending the holidays with the people who torment them is worse than just gritting their teeth and doing it. It doesn't mean they enjoy it.

Life is not a black and white proposition. For some of us, even if all the people who torment me were to die, the holidays would still carry with them a taint of fear and misery which only many years could wash away, if it could be washed away at all. What our families gave to us as holiday traditions - fear, drunkeness, belligerence, in some cases violence, etc - are equated with the holiday hype that pervades our society. Until one is able to avoid the holiday hype (which is nigh on impossible), one must also deal with the associated memories and linked emotions that go with the hype.

For me, I think it would be easier to rid the culture of Christmas than to rid myself of the associations. It is not a matter of who I spend the holidays with, it's a matter of what the holidays bring with them.

This holiday season was quite different than any I can remember. My dad was in jail. But the fear and anxiety were all still present. And for now, I am happy the holidays are over and I don't have to think about them again until next year, when things might be drastically different.

bluebelle

That's why I don't spend the holidays with my family anymore. I haven't spent a holiday with them in 5 years.

bluebelle

I agree completely. All of the music, decorations, Christmas stuff in stores, etc., brings back bad memories. When I was younger, I either had to spend the holidays with my family (due to my age), or I felt obligated to. There was also the belief that maybe this year would be better. I had a counselor tell me that if I set boundaries for family members, they would respect them. LOL. That didn't work.

Those who don't understand this are very fortunate. I still feel some amount of fear, anxiety, depression, etc., when I hear, see, etc., Christmas stuff.