LeadHatter

because my dad was always the loud threatening criticizing one and he was ofcourse my father so always more powerful than i i tend to see anyone who is able to threaten me and 'get away with it' [whatever that means] criticism me and behave loudly as powerful.

if i was the victim [the one who got criticized/threatened/etc] in the generation of this powerful status [as i see it] this makes me go all loopy because someone is more powerful than i now at my expense and i 'must do something about it'

i feel like this right now about my addict neighbor who is like my dad was at his abusive worst.

help me please

dollydo

Ok, lets get to the core. What actions specifically cause you to feel threatoned? Why do you think that your father is more powerful than you?

LeadHatter

LuvInDaisy thanks for the tip about being objective I don't really understand the focus exercise though

LeadHatter

I feel my father is more powerful than me because he has more social connections plus the fact that he has manipulated me into thinking that most family members believe he is right in any given circumstance and that i am wrong. I know logically this is a nonsense but repetition repetition repetition. We are talking about someone that has been emotionally abusive over and over again. Couple that with a programmed sense of loyalty=culdesac locked in

Its just old memories really like one time arguing

Thanks for asking dolly.

dollydo

Well, I do understand what you are saying, however, we are all special in our own way, many times not only do fathers name their sons exactly the same, but, they expect the child to grow up and be an exact replica of them. To me, this creates a self image problem for the son, as no two are alike.

You have qualities that he does not have, and that is good, you need to focus on your qualities and forget about what his social connections are, to be honest, you are much younger than he, so why would you want to have the same social connections?

As for the others that always agree with him, they are either brainwashed or afraid of him. In either case, it is not a healthy situation.

You can be loyal to him without being a Mini Me.

Just my 2 cents!

LeadHatter

Thanks Daisy i get what you are saying helpful ty just tried it it works