Looking for motives
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Looking for motives
So here's something I have a feeling many of you can relate to... looking for motives with EVERYONE. What I mean is that being lied to without any hesitation what so ever by your parent, the one who is supposed to protect you and love you and be the least likely person to lie to your face, breaks your trust over and over and over again until there is just nothing left. And when all that happens, it not just the parent you don't trust, it's everyone, because you start thinking "If my mom/dad can lie to my face, what can these other people that aren't even emotionally attached to me, do to me??" Now I just find myself looking for motives of why someone is doing this, how they are trying to manipulate me by doing this or that...it's really starting to annoy me. These people haven't done anything to deserve such distrust from me, but yet it's all there in my head, even if I don't say it out loud. I'm always wondering what the motive is behind someone's action instead of just ACCEPTING that they're doing something nice for me, accepting a genuine gesture. It doesn't matter if it's my girlfriend, my doctor, or a random ass person on the street, my brain just kicks in with this defense. It's driving me up the wall 
.
But anyway, just needed to vent that...
.But anyway, just needed to vent that...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Hungary
Posts: 71
SpeedyJason, I could've written that post myself...
My problem with this issue is that I expect the worst from everyone so sometimes I act stupidly, for example they just joke around and I think that they want to offend me so I get defensive and afterwards I'm ashamed of my behaviour...Or they talk to someone else for one moment (not to ME) and I feel hurt and rejected...Afterwards I always know that I was stupid but I can't help it
It's nice to hear that we CAN get better though
My problem with this issue is that I expect the worst from everyone so sometimes I act stupidly, for example they just joke around and I think that they want to offend me so I get defensive and afterwards I'm ashamed of my behaviour...Or they talk to someone else for one moment (not to ME) and I feel hurt and rejected...Afterwards I always know that I was stupid but I can't help it
It's nice to hear that we CAN get better though
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